Let's Go to the Movies!

In a world where everything is either peak, mid, cringe, cinema, kino, raw, dark, cooked, GOATed, or any other word I’ve forgotten comes the worst kind of person there is: a person who doesn’t give things numerical evaluations and instead writes out long term notes like they’ve got a paper due! These notes are not getting grades! Unfortunately I also have like, chronic memory issues and inattentiveness that has never been fully addressed so hard the time I’m going to be pointing out incredibly blatant things for movies. I am not much of a movie goer. Like most of my movie rate is like maybe 4 times a year. Anyways, here's my notes.

2025

2025 Section I want to watch more movies from the Y2K era. I'd love for the movies to not all be vaulted to a single service I have no interest in. I heavily dislike the policy of streaming services sundering movies, I miss when cable had a useful on demand. Note: A few movies got moved to their genre dependent page section, so if a few movies are missing, that's why.
Pacific Rim Kaiju Giant beast Jaeger Hunter There’s an alien breach in ocean Oh shit, they got to fight the great old ones in the giant robot Obamna The world came together See that’s how you know it’s fictional The setup is really good They turned them into military propaganda and made money off the tragedy Yeah that’s how that sort of thing works Oh no if it was 2020 they’d have to deal with Covid too on top of the giant monsters Two white guys They are brothers Drift compatibility Me having watched gundam: hey this kind of reminds me of gundam They weaponized the power of friendship If your bond is strong you fight better Hell yeah it’s just like my shonens These fisherman are cooked Worlds deadliest fishing is happening Me thinking about Godzilla: if Godzilla was here he would’ve punched the kaiju really hard and won It’s a big shark monster Cool If the robot gets hit then the people feel the pain You become one with the robot Damn things became dire in like 2 minutes Damn everyone’s like super dead rip Scavengers Oh that guy is still alive What about the fishermen, did they make it? It’s called pacific rim because the robots came from the Pacific Ocean Ohhhhh Ok The giant robot plan has failed and we are losing money Oh now it’s 2025 If the actual president was like the irl one he would’ve been like “neeeh the big wall will work, because I made it so it’s a good plan” so the plan will fail. The foreman said 3 guys died but we got 3 new openings The white gut from the intro is now jaded and sad and the wall also sucks Why are they funding the wall it’s literally not working this is like Covid shit when the government just wished the problem would go away The marshal guy I know him That’s Idris Elba White man shocks the Japanese by speaking the language perfectly Who’s this nerd They got comic relief The YouTube guy from Godzilla vs King Kong would’ve fit in perfectly with those two This is kind of awesome They have triplets in a robot Neurons when there’s a big robot and a bunch of people who are an underdog They dress up like they are knights Guy with a conspiracy: I think the kaiju are all clones I bet that guys gonna be right That was the guy from always sunny in Philadelphia Some Clark Kent shit happening there Was he wearing his brothers dog tag when he was training She wants the revenge on the robots Why are the guys beefing Calling him dead weight The power of a bond that comes from beefing not in a romantic sense but in they are both driven by vengance Drift compatibility is the ability to lock in when the time comes Your pilot is me, the military officer He is taking the drugs to not die I keep thinking about transformers and now my brain is going uhhhh “the quintessons would be here and send the kaiju to like take over the earth” Is that what’s happening Did the government sell the earth Who were those little aliens I just got a notification from earth wars saying “it’s time you purge the earth of our enemies” Newton what have you doneeee They are bonded by trauma A series of images or impressions and frames You shut up You keep talking That’s what the meme is from Colonist aliens THATS LITERALLY THE QUINTESSONS THEY KILLED THE DINOSAURS?! Person who watched transformers: this is literally just transformers Frieza is there too They’re growing the kaiju Time to get a fresh brain They have black market dealers A man named HANNIBAL. The rabbit memory Oh like Alice in wonderland She has such a powerful compatibility with the robot They’re offline and she’s still that powerful Okay so I guess they can’t do it after all Is that Glados’s VA as the AI This is a surreal ass cast Meanwhile in Hong Kong No white boy don’t go into the gang The boys whipped out martial arts because one of them doesn’t know how to respect women It’s kind of an insane setup to be like “so there are aliens and they might be trying to buy the earth so we built robots powered by platonic relationships to destroy them” and the movie doesn’t really think about this for long before they start having the robot punch stuff The marshal was once a pilot and adopted the girl and that’s why he doesn’t want her to fight in the big robot Don’t you ever touch me again Do you think you could test for drift compatibility through multiplayer games and improv comedy and like yes and practices You get better at being a drifter by playing Minecraft Yeah it’s Steven universe fusion, it’s DBZ fusion, it’s uhhh the transformers when they make the big robot, it’s Digimon when the two characters get their digimon to make a new Digimon together So if the wall isn’t working then what People are going like “it’s an act of god’s wrath” This is just a really weird episode of always sunny Woah literally everyone is dying They’re adapting The electricals are fried There’s literally only one robot that can do it because it’s not digital The kaiju are hunting down the guy because it’s a two way street They’re gonna kill him They dropped in another robot and I cheered because big robot cool Lock innnn The scientist guy is gonna get eaten dude get outta there The robot picked up a ship to beat it Swag Living in Asia in these movies sucks because there’s always something going on The beast has wings Oh they fly now Ohhh that was Glados VA for real THEY HAVE A SWORD This is awesome as hell Reset the clock Being the cleanup crew in this world must suck they probably have new diseases the world has never heard of Gregnant?! It played dead and now all that’s left of the man is his shoe The little scientist men are going to drift together I’ll go with you You would do that for me? They’re gonna CANCEL the apocalypse I carry nothing into the robot Woah Bros achieved the formless jhana What a conveniently shaped thing The plan is gonna fail Move you facist The predicted triple event The existential crisis of these two scientists is a subplot It’s happening again Bro lost his arm again Everything that could be going wrong is going wrong I thought the Hong Kong fight was pretty good No, they’re gonna die The son is gonna die too The robot will be sacrificed for the greater good Light the way F to pay respects Anyone can fall Launching her out of there but she’s gonna come back somehow No she’s gone G Danger is also gone They did it They saved the world Forehead bump Awwwww Awwwwww Cute Hug Cute The Japanese dub of this probably goes insane They got Char in there And Rei Wait it’s an Eva reference Always has been Post credits Where is my goddamn shoe How did you live Bye
Wifi RalphLast time I watched wreck it Ralph, enjoyed the relationship of the core four, wrote a turbo thing for my side site in which I write about how conceptually crazy that guy is for rewriting reality to steal the life of a child and was basically a Disney creepypasta inspired by the 2 hour video, was told to not watch Ralph 2, but I have terrible listening skills. I should’ve listened. Ralph and Vanellope, besties. They’re playing I spy and gossiping They’re in tron now there’s a virus They’re tiny 0s and 1s Now he’s got friends so he’s happy But Vanellope wants more in life She doesn’t want a job Her voice is notably different Hi Sonic Sonic knows what the internet is Okay so this movie can be about Sonic teaching Ralph to avoid fanbases Sonic knows the internet because of phantasy star online and the dreamcast It’s the twitter takeover Vanellope wants new stuff to do Girl was isolated for years without being able to play the game and now that she’s been playing it she’s just like “eh?” Ralph why are you making a new track right when the arcade is about to open What happened to the other sugar rush game It was 2 player The wheel broke off because player control was yanked The company went out of business Kids on their phones Wheel on eBay The game doesn’t make $200 in a year? Earthbound what theme playing Why is he going to unplug the game What about the out of order sign I’m scratching my head Ralph had more emotional intelligence in the last movie She liked the unpredictability of the race He’s calling her a best friend but in The deleted scenes he’s calling her little sister more often Why did they change that This is gonna be like Toy Story 4 where they make the gang split up for no reason huh Nobody wants those kids at all You all adopted a pack of 15 feral kids Spicing up the marriage of 6 years They started praying in the deleted scene and Felix tried to leave to get milk This feels like um. I’m not liking what I’m seeing. Felix going drinking is kind of a good gag though. How will Felix cover for Ralph Wasn’t the whole plot of the first movie You know what I think whoever wrote this and whatever executives decided to take over fundamentally didn’t understand the first movie at all and this is an alternate take to the first movie and in a totally different yet somehow exactly similar arcade to the first movie To be fair it’s a bunch of old people probably going “how do you do, fellow kids” My soul is at peace Like what happened to east niceland It’s just Ralph and vanellope Why couldn’t they have more characters going online Sonic would’ve been cool The smile leaving my face as I see a bunch of advertisements for websites and little ugly avatar guys I’m trying and I’m not feeling it Maybe this would’ve been better if it wasn’t with Ralph and vanellope and just its own seperate IP What Like the emoji movie Pop up ads How are they gonna make the money I’m like 30 minutes in and it’s not looking good We entered the exposition of the whole movie phase Spamton if he was lame Looking at the art book and deleted scenes there really was a different movie and they neutered it So if vanellope dies here it’s not her game she’s super dead like turbo did This part of slaughter race with the players is like the only part I’ve liked so far Wow, no way, when the video game movie focuses on the video games it’s good. Who woulda thought Why does she have a splash screen They brought up Ted talks So by going to the WiFi is it not a turbo thing I mean I think the whole thing was more of “be careful in other games and don’t try to take over other games” And also don’t break the kayfabe during arcade hours 40 min mark Brb Movie so mid im leaving it to do stuff in between and the hosting sites lagging Going turbo is to abandon your game and try to take over the new one If you die outside your game you don’t respawn Going back to KHUX script “That’s why we say someone’s going turbo when they do something they’re not supposed to do and mess up the game” So far this movie has been like a massive microdosage of everything I don’t like on the internet aside from the glimmer of hope I saw on slaughter race only for that to be taken away because it starts the whole “Ralph becomes a meme subplot” None of these new internet characters remotely look like they belong to the same movie Was video game characters truly the vehicle to use for this This is not realistically an amount of money that could’ve been made in this short amount of time Going to the Disney part and I feel my soul exiting my body “You like frozen. Right.” The princesses section infuriates me minus Cinderella having that thang Awesome Rapunzel, Eugene literally risked his life for you and the movie was about you getting your independence from your mother alongside learning about yourself I will not tolerate Eugene slander This is like someone fed the plot of poorly written Disney fanfiction into an AI generator but I’ve read better fanfiction and this is a professional production Oh my Disney isn’t even a website anymore Imagine if the movie was instead about Ralph and vanellope finding abandoned online game IPs and dead websites Just a WORTHLESS BUM alone on a pile of bricks The profile pic infuriates me I feel like the largest meme impact this movie had that still LASTS was the tumblr post about people being like if Ralph was real they’d just be drawing NSFW of him I haven’t felt a single thing for this movie aside from bafflement and anger The words of insecurity have bled to my mind Ralph is straight clowning That’s it. You’ve summarized the movie! Vanellope singing a song about “I want to go through a fog of mace” Am I watching a parody. Vanellope really said “I want to go to a place full of death of weirdos. Ralph is boring.” How are you gonna be on the internet and there’s ONLY ONE RACING GAME where’s literally everything else No Wow No Disney infinity No club penguin No pixie hollow This SUCKS. Best friends don’t have to have the same dreams. There’s like a semblance of a movie buried in a sea of ass They really character assassinated Ralph pretty badly for all this to work huh This is the Ralph the nicelanders thought he was like at the party where he was whiny and insecure and was wrecking stuff The Ralph I saw a movie ago is not this Ralph The Ralph a movie ago would not consider for a hot second unleashing a virus knowing full well a virus basically almost destroyed all of sugar rush and tried to kill Vanellope The dark net Turbo torrent was once in the concept art and the concept plot of turbo being a little virus on the internet is a lot more interesting then him straight up not being mentioned and like the duo breaking the rules like the first movie If the game reboots with her in it she’s gonna die “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to destroy your game!” Okay so they acknowledge that Didn’t she literally accept her glitch in the last movie She threw out the hero medal This feels so fake Remember the amount of pain when Ralph broke vanellope’s cart I don’t feel any of that They got dial up down in the dump That’s kind of funny A wreck it Ralph virus causes a ddos Actual Ralph and not the virus lol lmao Needy clingy self destructive behavior Clone therapy Codependent pied piper. Who’s on stage. Life is complicated. They didn’t have to make him read all that. The VAs really out here needing that check I guess. This is really expository writing They got Pinterest in here Playing this sad music like any of this was deserved Spamley was the only part of this worth talking about in sorry I called you budget spamton The frogger joke was also good He used a dad joke Not to make this about turbo or anything but I like how according to the rules of this movie since Vanellope was coded into the game by Shank and she can respawn there properly that means that uh, so should turbo since he was literally integrated into sugar rush for plus years Also if vanellope was one of the most popular racers post movie 1 won’t it be more notable if she’s just NEVER there anymore at all I feel like that would be another contributor to making the game lose money and players Whatever lmao Is the respawn thing acknowledged Hang on let me check a wiki Lmao it is acknowledged they put him back in magic kingdoms with the steering wheel backing up his model online There was a whole movie about Felix and Calhoun taking those feral brats and making them polite and I’m mad I missed out on that There’s an empty spot where the popcorn guys used to be There’s a book club Qbert reading You ever see a thing like take a good premise for something and then smear it in shit and then rub the shit on your face I think a movie making you feel like sour bill the entire time probably isn’t a good movie "The internet is not nearly as impressive as how Sonic described it.”
Wreck it ralph 30 years and they never built Ralph a house 9 feet tall and he’s literally just doing his job how could they hate this man Eggman would not be at bad anon he would be killing people Zangeif isn’t a bad guy canonically but one guy on the team couldn’t beat him so he was a bad guy to him He might be a bad guy but that doesn’t make him a bad person House of the dead guys aren’t even zombies Bowser wouldn’t have been allowed in if his coffee cup wasn’t moved a certain way Street fighter 2 turbo Is it turbo to want to be accepted There’s no one I’d rather be than me Main villian: is a guy who isn’t himself And also that plug connecting literally every game Dude Dig dug Hi Sonic He’s literally nice, he gave a Bert his cherry I forgot skrillex was there Smash bros 4 used the “they have Pac-Man” meme aall the time during announcements The nicelanders would never go turbo They treat him evilly even outside the game He can’t even fit through the door, they never thought to invite him He respawned. He literally knows all of their names. They intentionally ostracize him. Only good guys win medals Gene is really a jerk though It’s mad funny seeing tappers next to sugar rush and then the art style changes Too distracted looking at the portraits Ralph using the hero duty stuff mad funny though They’ve got altered beast The immediate embarrassment I have for Ralph running for his life is so powerful because like everyone else is doing their job but he’s out here flailing Never interfere Stick to the program Sugar rush has two cabinets here New racers daily Playing 9 races daily is kind of crazy Where’s the wrecking guy. Distress of the control stick moving. Fix it by tomorrow The orange screen of death Felix is literally nice too because he knows qberr’s language That is the only indicator Ralph is a terrible stand in The bugs don’t know they’re in a game Felix crazy jumping energy Boy why you so grasshopper His colleague Ralph Using his skillset to steal a medal is not good guy behavior Blah I’m the alien I’m gonna get ya The alien from alien Cameos Dig dug Burger time He almost killed Sonic by making him lose rings I like the dynamic of like gruff man and small annoying child, it’s the classic trope of father and daughter But also vanellope has no peers that actually like her so her first friend is the guy who also has no friends She has a whimsy and joy in her soul that comes from being a child Eat kill multiply No beacon means eating everything Viruses do not stop Frogger spotted Programmed with the most tragic backstory ever Why was it an instant gobble though Sheng long was here Turbo graffiti spotted Someone out there has all those kids names memorized There he is 2 hour long essay man Everyone else has their names be normal on the announcer but king candy is notably pitched higher Everyone else named after sweets but then there’s candle head Violence I like how canellope immediately hides by the royal racer They’re nine year olds and mean girls The Oreo guards This is like if lord farquad was in a Disney movie Bad guys don’t win medals He jumps to threatening Ralph by saying it’s his stuff There are trains back home What’s with his walk cycle doing 360s Like tires The devil dogs Was that the eVader breathing sound They circled around her She’s pedaling and has a little horn Mean girls but they’re 9 years old Ralph immediately protecting vanellope when he sees her in the mud Ohhh she’s called candlehead because she’s cake themed Vanellope going “I got one more in me” Gutternipe The power of breaking a jawbreaker He is His hand is so large but he is gentle and considers space The bug. It lays eggs? The story of turbo “Turbotastic!” The immediate change of music tone with the dramatic orchestra and funeral bell and framing of Mr litwak looking at those games carried away like they’re coffins is insane Iconic. Nesquik sand. Calhoun is like Ralph and she needs to hold back her violence Why’d Felix say San Frantastic and do the thumbs up All instances of thumbs represent turbo The bug is eating chocolate all over I like the A and B plot going on No glitches and she’s green to represent her original concept art on the door I like the select your karts text looking like Mario 64 text Suspiciously turbo colored car Vanellope picking the turbo shaped car Daughter anhhhh first kart looking ahh He made that With her Together They signed it This entire game is a candy advertising campaign Bead papa is an actual guy I like how king candy goes from menace to “hoohoo” when he sees Ralph is there He likes Ralph for some reason They were neighbors Bad to the bone riff plays Why does he use his full legal name King candy is always making some kind of sound “Waaahaugh” Vanellope’s life pre movie sucked She lived in a volcano Everyone says she’s a mistake and she wasn’t supposed to exist and even if she wanted to leave she can’t because she’s a glitch Ralph taught her how to drive without even knowing how Felix and Calhoun are looking for a bug that can cause the apocalypse and thinking Ralph is up to nefarious deeds Meanwhile Ralph is teaching a child how to drive She hit her head on the wall and did a thumbs up Top shelf as in like the best avaliable Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain as his shoes jingle Why does the crown have a gravitational pull to his head He is full of an evil joy and whimsy that comes from ruining the life of a child Meanwhile Felix is a lovestruck puppy Do not use that phrase around her And then Felix gets thrown into jail Now Felix is calling Ralph his friend King Candy has such whimsy and for what He puts his head into his collar like an animal His feet cycle like wheels He winds up The glasses line was the trailer He needs glasses? Bro was fearing for his LIFE since he would’ve died since he’s not part of the game 16 manipulation tactics go His tone of voice also changed 17 manipulation tactics go The kart smashing scene is a moment that hurts though because like vanellope’s dream was shattered She gave him a medal That was his medal It was made for him Mind you this is all still happening in the span of a night Gene is the only guy who stayed for the penthouse And he looks to the wall and sees that Vanellope is on the box of sugar rush and you can spot that on the intro Along with the teenage mutant ninja turtles Sour bill really just went with turbo taking over the entire thing He literally locked everyone’s memories If she crosses the finish line the game resets So like is it a winning thing or not They’re underground eating chocolate It really liked chocolate That’s the bug that does the thing Look Felix if you do this for me I will never try to be good again and I’ll go back to being rejected and hated and alone Meanwhile king candy put a child in the chamber with evil clowns and a circus If you play this level in KHUX like there’s no crowd or any important NPCs so it’s literally just the core four and candy and empty stands I like how the little bell ringing sounds like something out of majora’s mask Good sound direction One of those kids messed up the timing Bro was facing death gumdrops without the ability to respawn That child just exploded Old man bullying kids for a living There’s a frame and he’s so blurry but it looks like I’d was doing a thumbs up after that kid blew up The brute force versus vanellope doing it as a natural Girl glitch teleports My lady, you came back! Me bringing up KHUX: your OC just gets told to shut up since they’re in the crowd too Bullroar I think Calhoun should be allowed to swear Then there’s this asshole He is unaware of the horror that awaits him Yellow eyed goggles I know who you are Bro taking the illegal shortcut I think unlike other Disney twist villains the reason turbo/king candy works so well is because like king candy is already an good villain by himself but by also being turbo it’s like the narrative goes full cirlce and the guy everyone thought was dead was actually alive the whole time and doing what everyone said not to do “which was insert yourself into another game and go against your code” Fun Sidenote from alternate dubs In the Japanese dub king candy goes “HA!” As he launches himself to T-bone vanellope like an attack grunt Bro tries to beat a child Irredeemable There are so many in between frames in this single scene that are all equally fucked up and weird His voice is notably slightly different Vanellope speedrun powers go Vanellope got to drive so she can at least die happy Insane for a Disney movie And then there’s THIS ASSHOLE He turns into a wheel, what a freak He is FAST. He is like a shrimp Me with tears in my eyes “I am bad and that’s good, I will never be good and that’s not bad, there’s no one I’d rather be than me” Ohhh the thing that lands is the cart she took from one of the kids Everyone who was ever mean to me will be publicly executed Beg, beg for your life She has mascara on In a single night turbo had 15 years unraveled and then he died Gene now suffers through exploding Let’s goooo Qbert! Local sonic fan points out they use the sonic 1 sprite but he’s in chemical plant zone which is Sonic 2 THE EGGMAN SPRITE IS SONIC 3 So retro Doom hud Okay I’m off to watch WiFi Ralph just to see how bad it could possibly be on the other side My friend told me not to which is like a real stink indicator
Godzilla Minus One War is bad Godzilla is already here The locals told him Gun vs Godzilla It won’t work If only bro had done his job She stole a baby? He can’t abandon a baby You’re a dad now She did not steal the baby, it was the last wishes Hater woman is also here Bro you can’t go onto a job for land mines because you’ll die and this girl and the baby are basically living with you now The lameass wooden boat The group of a bunch of guys The landmines are used to fight Godzilla? CGI gun for the sea mines Don’t ever say the war went on longer 3! Godzilla as the representation of the horror The bikini bottom explosion She is just a baby The whole crew is in his house When the found family She has a job now! Godzilla is real and attacked and he might be back Bro didn’t die and everyone hates him for it because of the concept of kamikaze Gag ordered as well Big Godzilla It’s like jaws now He’s coming like a shark The mine did nothing He has to swallow it like a boss battle In his mouth like a candy because he bit the line It regenerated Godzilla stabbed up He’s gonna fire You have to live Love Come join us the ghosts say The trauma She really is just his wife and that’s the kid Can I finally live my life Is he truly dreaming? Is that Godzilla? Noriko the only one to hold on while Godzilla attack Ah, Godzilla is heading towards us! We’re gonna fall! Motivo please walk faster Please walk faster He found her Where’d the kid go Please be with someone He’s doing the thing He’s gonna fire Noriko went FLYING everyone is gone Godzillas breath took it all in one shot A 2 hour long movie of a man suffering for his actions We can’t go back to war He can regenerate so how will they win We’re gonna freeze Godzilla Freon gas They’re gonna sink Godzilla’s What if he swims back up though What if he starts flying What If he’s used to the pressure Can you guarantee this will kill him No one’s joining that No one wants to go back to the war like area again because it SUCKED Well it’s not certain death Godzilla with a good human cast Bro got a plane and he Will avenge his not wife My war isn’t over yet They’re getting tachibana back because he’s the only guy he could please Everyone is going “this war sucked; the government treated us as shit; we’re unionizing!” We are fighting for the future You should be grateful to never have been in the war The drama was crazy huh Godzilla has to recharge his rat like a game He’s gonna get back up We dunk Godzilla He’s gonna blast out of there They forgot could bite Mishuzima brought in everyone Everyone is here! When the power of human unity and teamwork defeats the enemy to defeat the symbolic lizard He had the dead wife sequence I thought he was gonna die Live Paying respects I miss his wife How did you live Cinema rule Anyone can come back
KPOP Demon Hunters They are pop stars that hunt demons They have the power of song to create the world’s most powerful barrier So is there like an evil demon boy band or something I like how it goes between “wow, these girls are incredible” and then it immediately goes to them eating like crazy They have the power of AMVs How is the plane this big to require the hallway They just jump The rider kick?! The idol lights That’s just the Precure idol lights The demons aren’t bad actually Whatever man they’re literally soul stealing demons I want to see the girls fighting demons They do have an evil boy band lmao They posed Everyone laughing and then once they show off the looks being like “yeah that’ll work” Oh yeah oh yeah totally gonna work 100% They’ve got TWICE on the charts They sent a guy named Bobby Girlies will be on the couch with their boba and bimbibap In so glad they have the funny looking faces in movies They wear their scars covered up Oh no, Rumi is having voice problems Rumi’s dad was a demon? Wait, elaborate? She has her mother figure girl like tell her she can’t ever tell her girlies? She pushed too hard, aw man.. In order to heal a part we must understand the whole Bro goes those big eye emojis He is being a psychologist He does that with everyone Bro is listing their character flaws I love how he’s got images of other kpop bands on his wall They really are a KPOP boy band How are they doing that with their eyes Why is the kpop boyband going down an alleyway Bro has that slow motion walk He didn’t try to catch her or anything He just brushed himself off lmao Their songs are all food related because they are demons trying to eat you This entire movie would’ve been a lot shorter if they were killed immediately Heheh they tried to kill then on live TV Why did he cover her scar up with a bandage Evil How did that single man still be in the bathhouse without seeing any demons at all This movie is unhinged Even the demons love them Everyone is doing the dance So the perspective of the fandom is that a random new KPOP boy band inexplicably has beef with one of the biggest girl bands who write a diss song about them and then kills them somehow Lmao The battle for the fans The battle for everyone’s souls Bobby’s perspective on this must be crazy A bird with a tiny hat That is no bird There are demons out girl Ohhh, kitty. This stupid pot I don’t think that thing has ever had a thought in its life She has to confess that she is half demon Jinu: I am a demon who was once human This guy would get cancelled on Twitter The demon marks are for shame I think you should kill this guy They already have a hate wall The girls are making a dual song Not the table sharing The fandom totally loves the duo and is shipping them together The song lyrics being changed She considers herself a mistake… girlie no.. “Go find yourself a better boy, this one’s hopeless.” Oh man, they’re all dead The bird loves the hat I sleep on the subplot Not Mount Rushmore of idols The power of cheese The boys are fightiingg They put takedown back as a psychological attack But it’s a pretty good song From the fan perspective this is like an in universe breakup happening to their very eyes The evil demons in disguise They see her demon scars Her shame They were going to kill her If there’s a demon father then how exactly did he not become evil and a person of shame Idk he was like sparda from dmc If this movie got a tie in game then it would have to play like Hifi rush but I know it would get some lame ass mobile game Bobby do not fall for that demon voice The people are brainwashed Everyone is falling to their insecurities How can this be covered up There are gwima shirts now I mean they’re kinda swag with it This is the most elaborate bit of this was all faked in universe the Twitter Stan’s would go insane for the effects like the girls colors going from black to white If this was made in 2000 this would get a tv show where they’d get like, a new song every episode like hi puffy Ami Yuki show Their shirts changed from the evil band to the good guy band The bird and tiger survived
War of the worlds (2025) There he is Ice cube This is just on his windows He’s got what’s app and Spotify You think anyone has ever ordered from the McDonald’s in the pentagon Who’s that guy running This guy is the good guy then if he’s proving the US is a survelliabfe state This guy sucks He’s been hacking his kids stuff You can’t just uninstall your kids games All I saw was a name that said “Diaper boy” Activate drone strike immediately This movie trying to say they having full survelliance is good when this asshole father is nuts and there’s the UK laws put into this How much money do you think the pentagon put into funding this There are alien weather monsters Was the guy an alien terrorist Not the autogenerated subtitles “I miss my wife guy” His video recording sucks Emergency zoom meeting NOW Bro does not care about his son he is only calling the girl I’m gonna get closer Damn rip Little did we know we were watching the creature feature A planetary alliance They want to be Independence Day so bad Gun This guy is trying to act for his life in this low budget movie there probably is like 2.5 mil dollars and it’ll make This guys best Amazon propaganda He has a heart rate monitor Dave is going to be like I know the weakness The frame gimmick When he actually wants to leave then he can’t leave Why didn’t she just stay inside He’s going to hack a car He can hack Tesla Megaman battle network if it was bad Amazon Bro does not read an email He has an inbox of 2077 Some BBCguy Isn’t the military industrial complex cool? So how are they all connecting right now The president is just some white guy This man is the most importance guy Dave is going to be like “I’ve seen this in a video game on steam before” E said the line It’s a war of the world US TOOK DOWN THE THING THISISearth They’re touching the 5G towers Not the Facebook emotes Disruptor is the son or something She has zero regard for her life at all Why are they going after the data They’re getting the WiFi Bro cannot act This is about the same energy as you’d get from a guy mildly inconvenienced Plane flew like a puppet All news has been Fox News Movie so bad it’s Amazon propaganda They’re drawn to data The movie is saying that survelliance is… good or bad. Facebook is gone Twitter is dead Single car manages Stocks gone Everything is bankrupt Your memories are deleted YOJR WIFE IS GONE This is like when photobucket died It won’t stop until they have it all His son was hacking the government The difference between right and wrong is the truth They had the government there the whole time General Briggs is going to shoot that guy He got the dinosaur of google Dave has been carrying this movie on his back Hackers are the good guys, the government bad They need a DDOS like with ff14 They didn’t have enough people who to have Bug media lied This fool lied His dad photoshopped himself in Not a big fan of the government Dave has been using a cardboard cutout of his house Who is brain They’re technoorganics from transformers Biological and cybernetic Mark is using his Amazon power to deliver a drone The NASA lady really just got drafted into this all Dave is shooting and out here playing ace combat Bro risking it all for an Amazon gift card Han Solo is here too He’s going to deliver a drone 111983 You’re telling me he lived and kept his job Data collecting is literally an invasion of privacy there’s no ethics So distracted we didn't even realize that the amazon guy was Rodrick Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Migration They’ve got bird racism Duck family Keep making movies about birds Hitting me, he’s hitting me Touching me!! Dnail on the head Creepy old heron The catfish Pigeon attack The gangs of New York City They gave the parrot a Jamaican accent He got caged If this movie came out on the 2000s it would have a ds tie in game and a metal gear solid sneaking sexrion Do you think these movies are singlehandedlr carrying the furry community by making all these animal centric movies to flex on animation styles Suspicious duck shaped balloon Chekov’s chef tiger shaped helicopter Country bumpkins and city slickers I like when VAs are just there to voice funny animals of sorts Duck religion Danny DeVito ass duck Hey what’s fping on here The child crowd immediately reacted to googop They have duck heaven They eat those ducks Why did the dad have such trauma He was probably almost eaten once Stray cat on a duck toy The little sister is cute Helicopter wrath The amount of property damage we caused by some silly ahhh ducks Gaggle of duck family joined by a random ass gang of domesticated plumped ducks that made it How did penguins end up in the Jamaican beach They escaped from the zoo They’re going to the South Pole Do you think they’ll make it out?! There’s a lot of French people in the credits
Curse of the wererabbit Wallace loves cheese, gromit is the dog, there’s a murderous penguin. In a world full of CGI, this team does it the old fashioned claymation way. It’s charming. Pest control dealing with the violence of rabbits 20 billion rabbits in their house The giant hammer They have a prison system in their house, wild. Secret cheese compartments. The brain stealing machine stole his impulses and gave it to the rabbits, prediction There is a whole vaccum. The moral: don’t use a mind altering rehabilitation machine So what will they eat instead Bros head is a carrot Town so slow they have a council for their vegetables Mother 3 pre timeskip plot Not the man on the organ Gromit trying his best here Horror tropes on a rabbit man is kind of hilarious What if there was a man with a toupee who was acting as Gaston from beauty and the beast Nun wrestling They said “shoot that thang” They turned that rabbit into a cheese eating monster Killed with a 24 karat gold bullet A moment of grief Immediate fireworks The dog is flying a plane He ran out of coins so they had to stop the fight for money Covered him with a cheese box saying “may contain nuts” This movie was quite a trip.
Shin Godzilla The disaster effort to be fixed, huh… The creature feature all that just for them to say “idk” Ahh; it’s Godzilla Due to international laws it’s not Godzilla The government mobilized doing nothing while meanwhile there’s insane things elsewhere There’s no way the creature will come ashore Not even 5 min later The creature is ashore Their lack of military and they’re calling the creature a country It has like, googly eyes Pest extermination Can someone do something This is like the tonal opposite of the bay movies they are taking this seriously as hell It is evolving It is standing It is a horror The soundtrack is banging If they fired just then they would’ve destroyed it but hit the civilians which would’ve been bad Not even finished evolving and already aura faeming We had 2 hours and failed. Couldn’t be helped In the sea of pfps I spot asuka talking about the radiation The professor guy was the guy they were looking for on the boat He saw Godzilla before once Godzilla That’s right Gojira God incarnate A violent god Some shark ate the poison It’s still mortal, it can be killed Godzilla protestors Just working together instead of infighting They said that man STANK imagine being a bg character in Godzilla You just have to run fast as hell 4 means death Shin Godzilla He no longer has googly eyes A gun nut would point out the inaccuracies of the weapons but it’s Godzilla so it has zero effect He is a perfect organism surpassing man They’re glazing him Pink towel is a mood In spite of the jokes this is legit powerful solely because they’ve got the orchestra and instruments HE DID THE THIBT HES DOING THE THING Hyper beams and all He has back lasers Purple Dawg this is our new prime minister, we’re cooked He’s more worried about his noodle Agriculture It turned off the tv Godzilla has aura sensing Flying Godzilla The international Godzilla team might’ve stopped it Bro quit thinking about the economy Godzilla is here right now Whoever is making this song to hype up the freeze Godzilla plan is working like crazy The US guys are also aura farming Tokyo is 3 New Yorks so how would they move everyone in their time frame at all Freeze or Fire Godzilla They’re just sitting on a bench in nature It was actually an origami puzzle the entire time It anyone breaks that computer it’s over Is there a thematic reason none of the us guys show their faces They’re evil Yeah true Freeze that MF The power of construction vehicles go I was really out here with like “oh shit, my hyper fixation vehicles” They’re pumping him with stuff He has to get up to farm one last time and turned into glitter Godzilla became the commitee Future edit: oh shit it’s the t square guy
The Wild Robot The wild robot The really good trope of “character who has no idea what they’re doing has to raise a child of sorts” except it’s with a robot and a goose Oh my gosh, little otters Rossum without humans… what will they do Aw. The animals can talk now. I kind of thought it would have been a lot funnier if the movie was just about a bunch of animals and a robot speaking a language no one else understood the whole time Ohh, robots living with other living beings is so good The raccoons are going crazy man Robot vs bear None can match to the strength of a bear A hungry fox is going to eat the egg Robot mama… The possum. Your job is to take care of the baby now One of her kids just died?! She launched the baby?! The fox lives in indulgence and eating The baby He’s literally just a little guy You can call me roz Tap tap Brightbill The beaver can teleport Crushing obligation. The fox is a hunter The goose was raised by a robot so he has copied the personality. I miss the baby. No, the other geese are attacking him because he’s neurodivergent and raised by a single parent He has teenage angst because he’s the runt and he can’t do anything yet and his family is dead Rossum’s robots… The beaver built roz a leg There’s another robot on the island now? What if there’s no humans in this story anymore and it’s like the humans left the world They got a falcon to help This little guy will make it even though he was never supposed to They don’t even know what is a robot is so they’re like “whatever species you belong to” Launch the child again Dreamworks will be animating an incredible beautiful story about a bunch of animals There are humans in this world but why is the Golden Gate Bridge underwater There does not need to be this much violence, do the robots really need to be be shooting the geese They are saving the animals in the winter Roz has become a beacon of hope for the island but the movie will end with the death I bet The bear Everyone is beefing in the shelter house now Everyone on this island hates each other Her name is Roz and she was a single mother and helped everyone There’s a baby lynx All of the animals are going to kill each other while she’s off Mark HAMILL? They said “yo mark you wanna voice a bear” and he said “hell yeah” Instantaneous recognition of voice actors based on cartoons I watched 20 years ago This is like Noah’s ark Robots last longer than geese so will her son even be alive He is Why is the retrieval robot evil Get out of her personal space This is like aliens or something Why is there violence and flares There’s no need to be doing all this “And I am a wild robot” Okay, credits roll, clap This entire scenario is not at all where I imagined this movie going whatsoever I thought it was gonna be a little family adventure thing and then here comes a final boss The big tree was plot important all along My jaw being dropped for this sequence when it’s the SpongeBob rollercoaster meme except for me seeing all that happen in the post winter sequence She’s going to destroy the robot hierarchy Movie so good I watched it twice.
Godzilla x Kong: the new empire Me seeing all the crazy monsters together fighting and stuff Yesss, sickkk Me hearing humans start speaking Aw man I want a monster movie where we just see the monsters fighting and the humans don’t get to say anything I’m sure there’s one out there Does the transformers movie directed by Micheal bay qualify as a monster movie I guess All monster movies is the same The doctor has a psychic daughter of mysterious powers I guess Godzilla podcasting of insurance companies This guy has defeated mechagodzilla Ghirorastan64 This is like wrestling but instead of people there’s big monsters King Kong had a toothache This guy has a discord chat I’m here like I like the vet guy (Trapper) and the podcast guy (Bernie) and the podcast guy is like a Godzilla streamer Future edit: I think they should ignore Ilene and make out in the next movie They had a cool synth slow mo walk Does every movie need to have strobe light effects at one point, spider verse has been a disaster for movie editing effects There is a baby Kong Donkey kong He bit him and did violence Old Kong King Kong has acquired a small guy Guy arguing over being in charge and then gets eaten by a tree I would love to see like a DBZ death battle of their stats and feats and then they just start fighting This guys going to end up breaking the camera somehow and lose all his footage It is on sight with the monsters. All of them instinctively start beefing. The mysterious ancient native (with spears) trope is a trope I hate man The nightmare monster hellscape There is a powerful ape The monster who ate a star Godzilla sent the Apes to Hell They gave Kong a robot arm Wooo it’s got lightning Godzilla just flipped Kong and he’s using the robot arm This is what I’ve been waiting for the whole time man He just drags Godzilla into the hollow earth hole Mothra looks like a beautiful angel descending from the heavens Godzilla and King Kong battling against the ice guy (Shimo) and the star king and then the gravity starts flipping is so coool BRAZIL Everyone hates skar king Kill And then Godzilla and King Kong did a cool Brofist and it was the greatest thing ever The end And Godzilla went back to taking a nap in the Rome colosseum. So basically: You guys got a good human subplot? We’ve got hype moments and aura I mean the bar is pretty low after dealing with Sam Witwicky for a trilogy
Ocean’s Eleven (2001) Daniel Ocean is going to make the ocean’s eleven His wife left him and he’d go for crime again He’s going gambling Poker is to leave your emotions at the door The gang takes on Vegas The elevator transition was awesome If you take the money the people will surround you to take the money They’d be in the desert The gang are robbing 3 casinos There’s a mini car Big car Dropped like third period French They got this guy out with a fake card If you look professional enough you can get away with anything Better call Saul They’re basically recruiting an RPG party for highway robbery They gave the last member a business card The casino has the same level of security as a military base The Chinese guy said nothing in English but they replied to him perfectly fine anyways Tekken rules Hehe, balloon boy The camera guy got lost Oh, part of the plan Dressed up as the maintenance guy They’re building a replica of the vault for intelligence It’s all buildup for the heist The ex wife has appeared The old man is LARPing The demolition guy is having issues because the last bombing of the building caused the construction worker guys to find the weakness So they’re going to use an EMP What about the hospitals and traffic lights They stole an EMP from California Uni Linus got stuck because he was smoking The gang got the suspicious white van Oh yeah, there’s cameras everywhere Old man has been having fun with the fake accent The new guy doesn’t know the last tip of what to do This all some sort of elaborate scheme to steal his wife back or something? Old man Saul’s not having a good time anymore Bucky was there and he was a terrible coincidence Their cover They have to steal from 3 casinos, not just one… It’s all just a bunch of well timed coincidences and here comes Mr. Ocean and his love subplot with Tess She does NOT want him around Oh, Linus is here as a distracting lawyer He’s dying?! Danny getting arrested was part of the plan too? Wow, this is so complex… and there’s a boxing match too. Lasers. Looping footage of the elevator… you know, this movie probably couldn’t be made for more modern times. This is some spy thriller heist stuff. And chaos at the casino too. These guys really messed with everything, huh. The batteries died? The lynchpin of the heist and it went wrong? Nope. Explosion went fine I guess. Everyone is teleporting to the Mission Control room now. They swapped out the footage! Danny shoved a phone into Tess’s coat… unwittingly used as part of the heist. They called the police to get the team They’re fighting a whole team Will they get away with the van? I mean it’s a Yes or No sort of thing for this movie… The Van was remote controlled the whole time, huh? It’s got explosives, doesn’t it. They blew up the money? They swapped the money out with flyers. Ohhh…. The fake vault was staged. That’s what they were doing to the practice run. They were the SWAT team?! I never would’ve guessed. What a twist. How would you even explain that to the law enforcement? Yeah so I got robbed, uh, the SWAT team was fake. I’d give up the girl to get the money back So this entire thing was a heist for Tess CLAIR DE LUNE RAHHHHHHH
Rise of the Brave Guardians Rise of the brave guardians The tumblr girls ate this up To be fair he’s a sad white haired boy on the Danny phantom website That kid is dead He is full of magic and whimsy and he loves the moon He looks like Danny phantom The darkness is taking over Santa. The holiday avengers pretty much, Ringing an elf to get attention The man in the moon found a new guy Nobody likes Jack Frost to be a guardian The power of snowball fights Bro got hit by a couch The nightmare man is coming Nightmare as in horse Jack is forcibly conscripted No one believes in Jack Frost, he is just a guy The doll in a doll North wind full of wonder The pitch black nightmare was the power of the plague The belief system is the same as the agenda Comparing every single thing to agenda and meme stocks It’s fairy tale logic, not meme logic Jack Frost was a regular guy and he lost his teeth like a regular guy He existed solely because of the phrase “Jack Frost nipping at your nose” The diversity hire of the guardians They had to bribe Jack with his human memories All of them leaving random gifts because the tooth fairy was on sabbatical so parents will explain that This is like a child meeting the avengers for the first time but they’re breaking in to steal his tooth No one will ever believe him Where does this take place in the SCU (shrek cinematic universe) since the man in the moon is a figure there There’s a child Blatantly obvious trap bed if I’ve ever seen one Jack messed up the entire thing by falling asleep and he broke the eggs Major L there A world of darkness and cold Evil He looks like Hiccup Bro drowned to death saving his sister’s life Dang, that’s kinda crazy Are there like, international guardians That single child in one state be like “I saw them they were real” The Easter bunny is just a little guy now They enlisted the children to fight Boogeyman is mad Stop Stop having fun Rise of the tangled guardians is back on the menu baby
Little Nemo I relate to this movie because I was just taking a little nap myself... Flying bed frequent flyer miles joke from digimon’s dub comes to mind They sent this child to the nightmare lands He has a flying squirrel
Foul and devious behavior of sleepwalking to eat a whole pie What if the whole movie is a pie induced nightmare

Morpheus, Orpheus… Seashells by the seasorpheus.

  This is such a beautiful animated movie but there’s nothing happening aside from the boat lol  
I don’t like this flip guy appearance wise, he looks vaguely off to me in a way that is registering in my mind as “racist cariacature” but he’s Green so I can’t tell if he’s just a frog who looks weird or something  
Edit: it was in fact racist  
Another theory to the nightmare theory: reused character design  
Don’t open the door Yeah, he’s gonna open the door  
This is the type of movie that would be used in gif formats for vaporwave music playlists  
There sure is a lot of sequences, not much of a plot it seems. It doesn’t make much sense It’s a dream  
Guy on computer mind blown dot gif  
Flip and Flap Giant horse sized bird  
Dude and the comic relief crime guy just unleashed the nightmare demons onto slumberland Bro had one job and he messed it up day one  
Kirby would’ve handled this easily tbh  
The voice of the king is coming from the pie door is another point to my theory  
Little Nemo has been equipped with a magic gun scepter  
They put a man into a cannon and were about to fire him to space  
There are creatures in the swamp, They’ve got Boomps This vaguely moogle esque creature brigade and one of them is just an old man  
Bro keeps waking up back and forth between his dreams and reality  
I think the most memorable thing about this entire movie has been the flying bed and now it’s gone  
Little dude died using the spell but he saved everyone He’s good though no worries   Bro smoked the comically large cigar
Little Nemo saved the entire dream world and then he’s gonna wake up and forget the whole thing
The Dark Knight Rises The dark knight rises They are throwing guys out of a plane because of Bane Bane is on the plane No one cared who I was until I put on the mask How many memes came from this movie bro I’ve seen this meme before Bruce Wayne doesn’t show up to events and now Harvey dent is dead and Gordon has to not mention how he let Batman take the fall and Batman has quit his job Bruce Wayne is just sad in his house and the people slander him Catwoman is doing her thing All Alfred wanted was for Bruce to be happy Bane is here now Gordon was in the tunnel but he just rolled out on the river Single orphan recognizes Batman Bruce Wayne finally left his house Catwoman stole his car Stonks Bruce’s money, gone Why did Batman do all that Drama Batman’s huge flying machine The stocks tanked Banes got his own plan Business guys in Gotham are stupid for trying to exploit weird people “You think you were born in the dark” I am getting a grade in memeology over here Bane is making explosives Why is there a child here What does the Batman movie universe say about cops Some of them are not good at their jobs They turned Bruce’s fusion reactor into a bomb And to think this entire thing could’ve been avoided if Gordon not had the script calling dent out on his person Bruce was in jail the whole time I forgot Bane was like, a child super baby They’re doing judgement calls on the people of Gotham Crane was let out too I think I like movie 2 more than movie 3, there’s too much downtime in this one It turns out bane was not the super baby He was just some guy Batman flying the bomb out of the city I see a beautiful city… The tale of two cities. They built Batman a statue The Wayne manor became an orphanage Robin was also some guy No silly costume for him Alfred’s imagination of seeing Bruce with a girl eating
Batman Begins Batman Begins Bruce Wayne is on a quest to bring a flower to a mountain Where is bro In the flashback Bruce fell down a well and was attacked by BATS Bro saw opera and thought of the bats and then his parents were killed in minutes Poor guy Now bro is learning ninjutsu and swinging swords Joe Chill in the room not knowing that the son of the boy his parents killed is in the room then next thing you know that guy got shot by another man That wasn’t justice, that was vengeance Well, if it made him feel better A lot of shows and movies be like “revenge bad” well what if the revenge was good what if the revenge made you feel better Bruce brought a gun to do it himself but he didn’t take the shot His father would be ashamed presumably, because he was a nice guy Some guy: damn, this is a nice coat Where is Bruce in the flashbacks Idk. In a cartoon he went to some monks. He is in the league of shadows learning from the ninjas Sure, I’ll add that to my belief system that he can do that The Wayne family fortune is always getting coopted Falcone is buying or scaring everyone to stay in power “Bruce, you’re supposed to be dead” Bro was legally dead for 7 years Bruce is spelunking and using secret tools that the budget was getting allocated to The same thing that happened in The Batman (Pattinson) where Batman jumped and hit a wall There’s a man dressed up like a bat jumpscaring people Batman, to that guy from 20 minutes ago: nice coat Batman slapping the taser effect The scarecrow is here now Guy eating falafel: now I want falafel Batman is dropping a man up and down and Up You ever think about how the hospital bills probably end up causing more trouble then Batman outright just killing someone Oh he’s on fire now, scarecrow hit him with the gas Scarecrow is poisoning the water supply Every movie in this trio has Batman getting into a scuffle with the law Aside from Gordon Gordon is his homie He has summoned the bats Not the two prisoners not giving a damn about Batman walking through the prison system throwing bombs Rachel has been poisoned the whole time on a hallucinogen and Batman has been rooftop driving The property damage in Gotham must be crazy The microwave emitter that was just stolen eh The plot is plotting together Bruce immediately insulting the entire gaggle of rich people and going “alright get out you sychophants” His mansion burning by the revelation of his old mentor being a jerk actually Alfred once again carrying That old man needs a vacation And a drink And a smoke It’s a good thing Gordon got that antidote of plot convinience immediately Batman has to destroy the train his father built Gordon has to drive stick to save the day
FallenFallen Fallen Why did I Watch this? Bored, needed to fill the movie per month quota. What if angels were like, devils, and fallen, for love It’s so foggy. With a magic school. With horses. My predictions were involving: a time loop, reincarnation, reaching for the main girl being Lucifer because her name was Lucinda or something. You know with everything revolving around like goths and perps and angels and magic this could be seen as like, my immortal A statue almost fell on her and there are tragically disinterested parents who just dumped this girl’s roommate here without a care. This was probably a book that got like 7 sequels Let me google something Actually it was 6 They’ve got fencing, I completely forgot. Continued Predictions: Gabbe as in Gabriel ultra kill Cam as in Camael Arriene as in Ariel Roland as in Raphael from TMNT I don’t think they’re all analogous to the angels though Penn is just a regular girl I think Hold up Penemue Going onto looking up fallen angel Daniel is one of the books This is an extremely dangerous party, how has no authority noticed the giant wood fire An ultrakill movie would rip ass… A major plot point is that she’s not baptized. The locust is missing from the wall From bible? Yeah. From Bible. The facial recognition software is pulling up photoshop jobs They let the normal characters die, man, those were the only two characters I even liked. Wow, those CGI wings were ugly. If they kiss, someone dies It didn’t happen Because she wasn’t baptized The angels are having a big fight. And they killed the glasses girl Boo. Booo. Is this movie good? Dentist waiting room tier.
The Dark Knight The dark knight Why so serious -The joker kebab The joker was there in the bank heist the whole time killing people Why did I start with this one instead of Batman begins I’ve already watched a single Batman Bigfoot Comic book movies are good when they embrace the inherent absurdity Batman’s got a gun That was a fake Why does real Batman sound like that Bruce Wayne said he got attacked by a big dog That was a medium sized dog Hey, I know that guy, that’s the American psycho (tm) Harvey dent That’s two face They call him the white knight but Batman is the black knight Bruce Wayne’s dichotomy is that he has to be a little bit of a loser, it’s the Peter Parker effect Raimi Spider-Man is a man of the people. The class struggler. The comic campiness. There’s far less camp here but I can tell this is a detective movie with comic characters They let the joker hang out with the mob This is so wildly different from the cartoon joker I’ve been dealing with for a few months Batman standing in the middle of a domestic dispute That’s the origin of Why so serious? Batman plots are wild if this is an actual comic plot adjusted to movie because as far as his cofriends are concerned Bruce Wayne went on a pleasure cruise with a Russian ballet and then meanwhile Batman flew to China “It’d not like Batman can fly to china” Meanwhile Batman with his bat helicopter. “Oh cool, Bruce Wayne has a panic room” He leaves immediately Joker keeps changing the backstory Big fan of chain smoker Batman here Some men just want to watch the world burn The inherent absurdity is in play again because who would try to blackmail the Batman Nooo, they got Gordon Dent is flipping the coin The domino effects of the joker’s trick The Batman as a symbol that Dent is using The coin only has one side The joker’s latest prank: a gun This is kind of wild for a PG 13 movie Joker’s Bazooka Bunch of guys eating sandwiches watching the Batmobile explode and then Batman gets onto his little motorcycle My favorite thing about Gotham is the times when no one gives a fig The rent must be crazy low Gordon’s alive! Joker’s got a potato peeler… Joker violence The only one to survive will be the one saved by batman Joker makes a phone call and it’s for like a pizza or something Sorry, what. He put a phone call into a guy. The joker planned this all out huh This is a man with a plan Alfred needs to turn on the lights One side of the coin is burnt forever The Joker got him too To think this all could’ve been avoided if the mafia didn’t hire a clown He set the money on fire The dogs barking outside He’s a hungry dog It’s about sending a message, everything burns Joker is holding hospitals hostage now Batman Lambo…. Joker is going to be in like, a nurse outfit or something. How did I call that The plan (tm) Joker hand sanitizer, doing a little job down the stairs walking as fast as he can looking back a few times, getting scared of his own explosions What’s his problem Batman wiretapped every phone in Gotham. Not good. Seatbelt safety is a must! Joker social experimentation What were they gonna do though, now Harvey’s taking Gordon’s family to the same spot he once was Gordon wants to save Dent Batman has CGI vision now Batman’s fancy tripwires Dangling from a wire Someone stop him Hostage situation of civilians vs prisoners “I’ll do what you should’ve done ten minutes ago” says the prison guy and then he plunks it into the ocean The power of basics human and common decency “You wanna know how I got these scars” Stop, enough In the face of death, joker laughs because it’s all fun to him The battle for Gotham’s soul sounds like it would make a kickass final boss fight theme Batman didn’t have fall damage, all is right in the world “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” A game of forever cat and mouse
A.X.L A.X.L

There is a robot dog that the military is attempting to create. There is now the dog of the future. It's an acronym. Attack, exploration, logistics.

They have the ultimate dog. And they immediately lost it. Anyways, I'm thinking about that Kirby episode where Nightmare Enterprises made a robot dog and Kirby loved the dog but didn't know it was an evil robot dog and then dedede blew up the dog before it showed its true form.

Now there's a motorcycle race. Dirt bikes are cool. I was so into the bike racing, that I forgot this was supposed to be a movie about a robot dog.

The way these synths sound exactly like "sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree"but it's clearly not that. They're just doing motorcycle jumps at the party.

My guy just set a car on fire with a torch. I am quite distracted by the last name being Fontaine because I know it's French and means Fountain, but if you know you know.

I should get into watching these dirt bike kind of things, this is something that would be up my alley since I already added in formula 1 racing. The rich dude's groupies are sabotaging his bike. Ah, it was a setup. And to think, if the rich guy stayed for longer, he would've had a robot dog. Now that is a CGI dog, it looks like it came out of a video game. Oh, the blue eyes mean it's good, but the red eyes means it's evil.

That dog is reading out his identification and stuff too and stealing camera footage like this is the ultimate privacy destroying dog. The robot dog is inherently built with a muzzle on it. So symbolically he will take it off. The bite of 87 could happen with those things. If this is a movie about a boy and his rocket firing dog driving around it could be pretty fun.

So every single thing is registered as a threat to this thing. Dog road trip with this guy and the girl that helped out beforehand during the race. The dog's got an mp3 player and a disco light. I don't like that the entire thing of the dog is also being recorded and sent back to the human scientists the whole time. Surveillance horror. That thing can literally hack into money.

The dog is giving out its own exposition dump because there was some graffiti on the wall.

Scientist 1, evil, was totally okay with seeing a civilian die because hey, this one guy is making our research go really good! Can you even abuse a robot, the dad asks? Well, if you can make it feel pain, if you can design it to feel pain, sure.

So the skeptical father figure when being interrogated brings out a bow and arrow to take a shot. This is the kind of movie you'd watch at like a dentist's office or it would be randomly airing on TV or something. It's not like bombastic, I'd say it's kind of a chill movie minus the one rich guy who's trying his best to be the antagonist to the main guy. Quite frankly if a guy i was trying to get had a terminator esque dog I would move out of the state instead of trying to kill it. All of that destruction was caused by one of those things.

"Go on, get, go, leave."

It was the same. It was literally the same thing the dog exploded and everything. They've got a normal dog now, the main guy's getting into robotics now.

2024

Note. the transformers movies got moved to the robot page.
Wicked Part 1there’s a heavy difference between watching a movie for the sake of watching a movie versus watching a movie and there’s a little thang whispering in your ear about everything that’s whack about the movie. Film critics from YouTube backseating my experiences.

Wicked: the wizard of Oz musical prequel/alternate retelling starring the woman who gets crushed by a house within the opening or something

I could be wrong and it’s another witch The whole time I was just waiting for a scene of a crash out. There was the build up. But it’s only part 1. They hated her for her green swag.

Anyways it turns out if I don’t take notes as I watch movies and I’m with other people I turn into my family members and start yapping with commentary.
G’raha Tia was there. I know Johnathan Bailey from other things, but. It's fun to me to just say "that's my boy from FF14!"

Wizard of Oz spoilers (funniest thing I've ever imagined alongside a comment with my other viewer who was like "wizard of oz cinematic universe") The entire time I knew nothing of wicked but I knew of Oz being a fake, however, the introducing racism subplot was new to me but it checks out.
Good musical, but like, idk the elaboration for a character that is barely in the wizard of Oz (Glynda)
Incredibly distracted by the premise because imagine if the same elaboration was with a Mario boss from the first world
Fast and Furious (2009)i feel like this year in general has been the year of cars. Is that an iguana in the truck You know what, I’m just gonna watch the movie and not take notes and let me see how far I can get with that.
This guy is really good at driving, which from what I can surmise is the basis for like 8 movies or so. This man is doing heists for the family. He’s getting car visions.
This FBI guy and the family man are both looking for the same guy.
The entire plot is justification for cool car races. they have car boost powers as if this is a video game.
This movie was about a drug cartel exchange being pushed through illegal car races and a friend of the main guy was murdered for that. Even though the guy did the right thing he still ended up getting the judgement. But he also got broken out. As a movie that exists to have cool driving scenes it fulfills its purpose. Now I gotta watch 7 more of these when I can.
The Last Unicornit was on auto play so I was like “sure, whatever.” I was like “woah, beautiful forest, beautiful orchestra”.

There is only one unicorn left and the hunters leave but also were like “you must keep this forest to yourself” but they* were not aware that they were hit last. Idk, she? Yeah, she. the body language is quite expressive and There is a bug man
The unicorn is going on a journey to find the other unicorns There is a medieval man who sees her as a horse In another world if this wasn’t a g-rated movie I think that man would’ve been stabbed
Is the unicorn like, metaphorical or am I doing that thing where I overanalyze children’s media People see what they want to see in the carnival show the witch runs A fake horn to represent a real unicorn

Schmendrik the wizard There’s a lot of emphasis on being “real.”

That harpy is going to kill that witch That harpy for real got away with two kills in a G rated movie

Red Bull (not the drink) Medieval times. Taco. Close enough, welcome back FF14. Everything I do reminds me of her

Ayo. That tree’s crazy. “Where were you twenty years ago? How dare you.” That was raw. She’s totally changed the moment she saw the unicorn. Molly Grue has joined the quest.
The last unicorn is a human being now Schmendrik is lying to save himself from the fact he has zero clue what he’s doing Christopher Lee?
This ugly and dry castle. This old man and his prince son who aren’t there. Now that is a wizard.

She has the sadness you only see in medieval paintings

There’s just this generic prince boy here and I am assuming that this movie will abruptly switch to being little mermaid esque in terms of “they fall in love, she loses her powers, she turns back to a unicorn.” Or something. It could also just be her turning into sea form like the OG ending of the story. She has forgotten her original role. He knows that she is the unicorn. I’m overthinking and I’m like “this old man is substituting the unicorns for his ailing age and lack of happiness.” He should’ve been at the club.

She has lost her sense because she has never seen a unicorn. The skeleton appears. Everything reminds me of them (Papyrus and Sans and Skeletor)

They left that poor wizard to be shredded She is no longer the last unicorn but at what cost, she has diverged and been changed forever by her journey and will never truly relate to the others of her kind.
The Dark Crystal gazing at the dark crystal is shit a wizard would say

Two races, the Skeksis and the Mystics Already this setup is kinda going hard The bird people or something are all practical effects and puppetry and animatronics It’s real nice looking. Sometimes I miss when movies weren’t all CGI.

Man, I was really thinking the whole movie was gonna be the narrator. Now they’re speaking. That is a vulture.

I am predicting that the twist is that both races were the same or something. Eh. They could just be seperate though. They’re more like crows. Cawing.

Final fantasy be like: to the crystal chamber! The beautiful and awe inspiring astral observatory and the loud witch woman that runs it Aw. Dead.

Spending the run time being like “ooh” and “aah” at the scenery Oh, it’s like it’s like one of those small angry dogs It is one of those small angry dogs!

Two of them. Sorry, I know there’s a plot happening with the two that are the last of their kind or whatever but now I’m like looking at the angry dog that is like if Chewbacca was a small animal. The old lady lived!

The ancient prophecy

Kira’s doing most of the work here tbh, Jen’s kinda just there. Player 1 and 2 energy.
I was right, the bird people and the mystics are connected! Nooo the diog got thrown into a pit Jen’s reaction time is like bro has 10 ping from the server he has emotional lag and input delay

The dog lived They were sundered??? Verbatim?
Fern Gully (11.2)

It’s kinda crazy for like 40+ years we’ve been having shows and movies with environmentalist messages but old guys in charge are still like “light up the environment for profit we need more oil lmao” This entire movie is so largely vaguely Disney looking that I was like “huh” because I think I saw it once in elementary but didn’t know it was a different studio because studios would just make things that looked like other things for trend following. Watching with my sibling and they were like “the fairy’s gonna fall in love with the boy” and I was like “she probably won’t” and then seeing he’s the only like non cartoonish looking guy so far was like “oh yeah, that’s pretty obvious.” I like how there’s just an evil tree and an evil ass mountain and like the ancient old woman and it’s basically just a classic kind of scenario movie setup Anyways this is how I learned the pizza tower taunt sound is a stock effect The magical whimsy of the forest vs the horrors of industrialization with the subtlety of a hammer I like the blend of 2D and 3D animation but I’m also not sure how effective the message is going to be when the main villain hams up with his song and is likely the thing people remember the most about the movie aside from the bat which is kinda wild they just casually had an experimented bat with a probe. They gotta put up a sign or something saying “DO NOT CUT THIS TREE.”

Sailor Moon Crystal's final movies got moved to the magical girl page.
The Lego movie (watched 8/9)
All of this true because it rhymes He is a silly man made of lego I like how you can tell the twist is that it’s all being made by a child if you’ve watched it a second time because of how the dialogue is in the prologue My touys… Emmet is the kind of guy who follows the rules but no one knows a thing about him because he’s too confirmed. He masked too hard. Watching a movie on streaming is a lot different than in a theatre because you can just… idk. I feel like you pay less attention to streaming movies. They gave a Lego curve marks. It’s a movie about uh. Prophecies and uh, stuff. BIONICLE REAL The multiverse of Lego real This is just a guy getting mad about a kid playing with his toys They just erased a guys face off and killed his personality like permanently They break apart into pieces like the lego games Cloudcuckoo land is an anarchist state Lloyd cameo Hi lloyd Lego’s are funny. No clue what’s going on with the lego Ninjago movie. Haven’t watched that. I did recently watch Ninjago so the cameo was pretty cool. I should get back to watching dragons rising I heard it’s nuts. Let him build a spaceship None of them have ever followed rules Freedom Friday Tuesday Frursday SPACESHIP HE DID IT What if that kid stepped on a Lego It’s like Toy Story Ages 8 to 14 That’s like some exorcism crap We are all the special
The union (8/16) It's a lot different watching movies on streaming and with people too, right? How do I describe this... well, from the get go a lot of movies that tend to focus on spies and FBI and CIA and cops basically run the same course of propoganda, let's get that out of the way Trope of "average guy somehow outskills everyone else involved" is there too alongside "wooing the cool coworker girl" It was an alright action movie, plenty of scenes and fights but the last minute car chase took forever It's a movie that exists made up of tropes to make this fake made up US spy network look good and every other country look bad especially the ones who want all of the US information. I wouldn't be able to recognize any of these actors because I don't watch live action movies that often and more or less I got shoved into it because the cowatcher is the kind of person who scoffs and spits at anything that looks remotely colorful. The whole time I was comparing tropes with my cowatcher and going "well, someone has to be the spy and it's the boss!" which was true, but the guy coming back from the dead was not an expected bit Ahhh, I see, netflix specifically recced this to me the day it came out.... algorithm at work there.
JJK0 got moved to the Neo Three page. I guess plot essential movies move, but noncanon movies stay here.
HTTYD HTTYD

No clue if I mentioned this one or not in the last rounds but it pretty much cemented that I should watch things by myself instead of other people if they’re going to refuse to watch the movie and instead get mad at made up versions of the main characters. Ruined my enjoyment. So naturally, I'll just watch things alone like I usually did. They tended to get pissy when that happened but like, they're totally incorrigible.
There’s a pretty big difference between movies and shows… With a show, you can watch whenever. In fact, binge watching and multitasking is pretty much a default way to watch a show these days… With a movie, it’s about like, time, atmosphere, the mood, and especially who you watch it with. When you watch a movie, you want to focus.
HTTYD was less on the movie and more of a lesson on “don’t watch movies with people who are going to be annoying the entire time.” It’s difficult to enjoy a movie when there’s a person making crap commentary. It was a fun movie but the experience was soured.
Mean Girls I’m not much of a moviegoer and I barely go to see movies in theatre. That being said, after watching the original mean girls, I went to see the musical one in an actual IRL movie theatre. Regina was kind of the only worthwhile part of the musical that I’d likely listen to in a Spotify playlist, the other songs were forgettable at best and the lead actress couldn’t sing. I also watched how to train your dragon. It was good, I’ll probably add the extended cartoon to my watchlist.
Madam Web Madame Web: Watching madame web the same way I did with morbius and I'm convinced Sony is attempting to make some kind of crappost off brand Spider-Man cinematic universe. The main villain is like “I need to kill these teenage girls before they become a problem” and is stopped by a single adult who has no superpowers minus the power to run him over. I think this is the opposite of marvel having people be hyped over it for years, it has like, anti hype. The Morb Effect. I was texting my friend live commentary and at one point said “This feels like a CW pilot”
Misc Movies: TTG to the movies. I’m not sure why this show still exists tbh. The Flintstones. I didn’t pay attention to this at all. I’m not a movie person and mostly use it as background noise. My attention span has been shot for years. On average maybe I’ll watch like, one movie in theatres for the entire year.

Previous Years (2023, 2022)

Across the Spiderverse Watched spiderverse (the new one) with my friend, and it’ll probably be my movie of the year since I barely watch movies. I do wish there weren’t so many effects like all the time though, it’s probably impossible to watch for anyone with sensory issues and even I had to close my eyes at one point of the movie.
Scott Pilgrim, Pitch Perfect Scott the movie: I liked it, it was pretty funny seeing a life action version of everything. Even if the sound choices were very limited in what game noises they could use (they were pretty happy with the sonic ring sound…) wasn’t really great that they kinda shoved Scott’s development of not being an ass about the two timing into a single scene but the swerve with Nega Scott was also funny. I watched this after take off.

Pitch perfect: My sibling loves this movie so I’ll check it out it’s about the acapella band or something… Tbh I can’t care for these movies about relationship college drama and they love it alongside mean girls and idgaf. It’s slightly more than that but School drama is boring to me. It’s second hand embarrassment I don’t like all.
Watched: The Bad Guys (Dreamworks): I’d like to thank spiderman into the spiderverse for allowing animators to flex in movies forever now, also whoever at dreamworks keeps making wolf characters the way they do, plot was based on a book or something and the morals i think were like, be a good person genuinely instead of being performative, like that little hamster man.
The phantom menace. I’ll probably post more in depth about Star Wars (the first six) and then the sequel trilogy later but right now it’s sitting with the classic being the top because I’ve bounced off the phantom menace twice now because this really could’ve been cut. A lot of line reads were stilted and it sort of leaves a weird first impression of the big guy anakin being a child. My watch order was literally 4-5-1-2-3-6 in order to get it out of the way and I can see why they put it like that.
No clue when I watched. Watched a Low budget movie involving two kings and a question of morality between picking a friend or king when the king killed the rightful heir but obviously the protag picked the king because there wouldn’t be a movie otherwise. Wizard battles with PowerPoint transitions. A movie I missed last year outside of the unfinished Disney movie marathon was Pompo the Cinephile, which is pretty much the epitome of the statement that art is suffering and making extensive cuts but my main takeaway is that a movie needs to be 90 minutes long because I’m terrible at retaining information. A movie watched with the extended family was National Security, which was. I don’t recall much of it outside of it being a buddy cop movie and the antagonist being killed in a looney tunes styled execution where he gets launched off a rock. Lots of explosions. Immediately dated by the usage of video camera, otherwise it would’ve been on phones.