A blog of sorts?

Summer 2025

June

Life

Me checking the news: I do not control the employment rate Moving on. New music interests: DJ Sharpnel, Tame Impala, Cleo Sol, Steve Lacy, Corinne Bailey Rae, Sza, Keith Emerson, Flavor Foley, Seranji Poji

No cooking lately aside from some terrible pancakes. Oil vs no oil is a nightmare but the pan gets too greasy and the pancakes with oil absorb like all of it. Butter would’ve been easier.

You know how like in super paper Mario you break a vase and end up in debt and have to grind out the money unless you get the vault That’s my life pretty much sometimes but I haven’t found the hamster wheel or secret vault

Lately I’ve been imagining a System of putting nails and hammers in tires and throwing a brick at a jackass ‘s window system

You get one per year It can’t be a child under the age of legal drinking age but after is fair game Someone else can give up theirs to like double the system but it can’t be monetary Rich people don’t get to have one I think we could effectively cull the power of jackasses if they had a legal way of reminding them that when people got sick of rich people they used to remove them entirely

As a concerned civilian we should bring back public shaming of rich people full timeshaming full time I hate driving! I hate living in a car centric area! I hate living by highways! We’ve got you surrounded, come join the car job industry complex! Trains could solve many driving related issues in the US!

“I know you feel uncomfortable with AI but…” “The tech revolution is coming so…” “I hear what you’re saying but I’m gonna try to convince you anyways because I know better…” I am no longer arguing with the people in my life over this matter If anyone attempts to talk to me IRL about this anymore I’ve been showing them this image

I think I’ve made my point clear. Something I don’t like now though is legit artists and Condescending jerks who will jump to call anything AI which adds to the problem that wouldn’t exist if GenAI didn’t balloon into this nonsense anyways.

Slapping the counter on my calendar that says “days since real life has been an article of the onion from the past decade or so” back to 0

I really wish I wasn’t living in a world where major historical events and mass suffering are caused by a council of moldy vegetables!

Media

Going to be thinking about chapter 3 and 4 of deltarune and squidward looking out window (I have no money to buy it)

My favorite part of deltarune is that the spoiler brainrot was so absurd that anything could happen and I’d probably believe you

Come into my magical world of wonder and intrigue!

Okay Mario 80 USD or more depending on where you live No Mario.

If I wanted to drive on the interstate I’d just use my car

MKWorld is not it for me tbh based on the video footage

80 dollar Mario kart 80 dollar Mario kart album where the composers just start replicating T-square I did not spend money on that, I’ve just been listening to the music.

I’ve got old games, so Nintendo will be pissed off.

In fact, I’m probably making a shrine/page dedicated to those old Mario games I’ve got through like, switch online and stuff.

Mario shrine will inevitably lead to a yoshi shrine, a Luigi one, a wario one, and donkey Kong because bro has a very stacked list of friends who do their own things

And peach too even if her outings are spinoffs only

And the RPGs So true!

I wish wario could continue to have his own platforming adventures alongside the warioware cast instead of just being the warioware guy, I think it would be hilarious for him to be both their boss and also have the time to go on wild treasure hunting adventure

The people want for a Wario land and that’s why there’s so many successors and what I’m thinking is wario’s Iliad where he has his various employees show up on his adventure to help him out in various platforming ways

Website

I like how it took me multiple months to actually make the side website when I’ve been doing all this extra coding and geocities diving and the age old tumblr backup compressing that I kept putting off and the issue was I couldn’t figure out what name i wanted

I’ve also done some revamps to the actual writing side of some of the overviews of some ideas so I could combine my more niche concepts of like, myths and scrapped concepts and pokemon and OC making to be more coherent instead of rambly

The major goal became “okay, let me take the notes I made a while back and make them into like, an actual usable format going forward so I don’t need to have that much MB wasted on the concept if the images aren’t needed.” of course there’s still my concern about “if this place dies and I have to go will they say my place is a ripoff” when the stuff I use is all F2U? Quite frankly I have the energy of making my place into a layout labyrinthian nightmare of ensuring credit and more importantly I’m the type of weirdo that likes looking at free templates and layouts and going “hahaha, yes!” As I proceed to muck about in the code to add in random things to make some kind of horrible Frankenstein creation. If it wasn’t for layouts and templates, I probably wouldn’t have much of a website visually.

My brain works too fast in annoying pest ways to actually be able to code a website fully from scratch because I’d have immense feature bloat and add in things that are entirely unnecessary like how I was trying to find a random image on page load generator for a while until I realized “idk how to do that and I could be doing other things” so instead I just switched the images manually.

May

The music of the month has been: PinkPantheress Life

Welcome to movie May, where I watch movies in May? I’ve watched a few, which is a lot better than my usual of 0.

Some people fr wake up every day knowing what they’re gonna do the rest of the day and I wake up and don’t even know what I’m eating for breakfast

I travel back to my past self to tell them that everything about their personal life and IRL relationships gets worse and their internet life tanks so it’s a net loss in general

“I get into transformers?” “Yeah, and mecha and super heroes” “Rad.”

Greatest ambition these days will be something like “made breakfast at a reasonable time while watching a show instead of laying down with an existential crisis for a few hours” It absolutely sucks to be accepting about the person you used to know and love slowly whittling into a parody of themself and basically succumbing to long term brainrot and them refusing to change and only drilling further down, and it sucks more so to see it happening in real time. Probably not a good indicator to be constantly listening for the sound of footsteps whenever anyone is in the room.

Anyways, less of that topic, but I’ve revamped my room a bit. The room I reside in. The power of fueling hyper interested research into the most stupid things possible until 4 am but I finally turned my collage aesthetic skills into a useful thing by envisioning baskets and storage things for my room to stop looking like the equivalent of sans tornado thing from undertale (minus my closet).

Unfortunately since I had a large thing with getting books and buying books and said books would vanish into a book void of “putting them away to be read later when we got a shelf to put them (it’s been years and there still hasn’t been a shelf installed and the only person who could get the shelf thinks shelves and books are tacky and refuses to get one)” so the money I spent to get a nice little storage area to put things that weren’t books were immediately filled by books because it turns out I have a horrid little hoarding issue centered on books I want to read because I got them for free or bought them and never got around to reading. At the very least seeing the absurd amount of books in the corner really makes me wish I just bit the bullet and bought a shelf myself so I could save myself a lot of time rearranging the area.

Having to replace my fan bulbs with replacement reflector bulbs was not fun, mostly because I turned the lights on and then none of them turned on so I had to use my phone light and then I got knocked on the head by a box as I was getting the replacements.

On art… I’ve been still looking at artists offline in books to inspire me rather than draw anything, because I put my pen to a tablet or to paper and nothing comes out. I still try looking up things but… uh. “We need to kill AI artists” I say as I try to find artwork that is REAL and not just a deepfake because it seems like every single place has some piece I look at and scrutinize nowadays. Awful. Nearly every single aspect of my creative life has actively been made worse because of “AI” and I put it in quotation because it’s referring to that stupid corpo Garbo dispenser as opposed to something like video game AI like a Puyo Puyo opponent Rulue? Fine. Anything else? KILL ON SIGHT.

Every day I wake up so glad I graduated college before GenAI took off and became a big problem for people just using it to substitute thinking and being creative because my initial feelings were contempt for everyone around me who became AI pilled and now I just feel pity because the moment any of the open source AI things become paywalled there’s going to be a massive crash Research has become stupid because all the search engines put their hands into becoming stupider, Art sourcing has become hell, I can’t even listen to new music playlists without the wary feeling of “is this new playlist made of real songs or not?”

Having a reflexive feeling whenever I read the word AI shouldn’t be the norm. And I feel like this problem has already become too ingrained in my small world bubble which is just a layer to a far larger issue that some people just… don’t want to think. Concept wise, that sounds absolutely absurd, but that’s the case I face every day of helping people who want their problem instantly solved without actually doing any of it by themself when the solution is something to be done in 2 seconds because they’d rather spend that time scrolling and watching something at the same time while on a call. It’s sort of alienating and haunting to feel like the only self aware person around sometimes.

The enshittification extending beyond the Internet and onto books and ads and photos of IRL is also a bad thing especially for people in the media arts field which has the most highest concentration of people you really want to be mad at for shilling GenAI but if you say something you’ll look like a crazy Technophobe. How are people going to be doing real life applications of stuff if their brains are generally that cooked though. That’s my real worry.

Massive rapid erasure of culture and history through the internet engorging itself like an ouroboros because people don’t want to learn or feel uncomfortable with the concept of taking responsibility to teach right from wrong and instead would rather rely on the technology to do it for them. It’s the parents who basically plop their kids in front of screens and then proceed to be helicoptering to the point of walking them to class and being on them on the daily that makes me feel bad for the kids because I know they’re going to have years of bad habits to unlearn. The only culture that some people seem to have in mind is consumerism. Me opening the mail only to see that one of the schools I wanted to apply for grad school sent out an article that was just “we love AI soooo much, check out our generated garbage, we don’t have to hire as many people anymore” and it is yet another reason I’m so glad that I graduated before this stupid thing blew up because if I had to deal with everyone around me shilling it I would’ve crashed out.

Unfortunately all my rambles at this point sound like Old man yells at cloud tier where there is clearly a problem and I’m seeing how people have basically gained all the traits of addiction and burnout and have zero willingness to have curiosity for the world around them and instead would rather rely on a faulty over glorified magic 8 ball to give them answers instead so this is the last anti AI ramble I’ll have and I’ll just say I’m praying for the downfall and collapse of the industry on the daily. On the passive hater grind. One last thing: I think having ads on your phone built in should be ILLEGAL

I’ve been offline for a few months but I’ve also been online using radios and listening to news radios and what not and I’m certainly cooking up weird theories as to why things are so weirdly hostile sometimes. The direct link between disgruntled gamers mad about women leading to a large rise to the alt right pipeline that then led to essentially… meme politics. I think the fact that most politics these days and for most of my life have been handled by rich people doing evil and blaming marginalized people for being poor while cutting basic rights to stuff their pockets fills me with an indescribable indignant rage. You’re telling me that some people just have no basic empathy for others and people like me are the bizzare outliers. The lack of ability to give out specific details gives out the most hilarious conversations in my irl because none of us knew any of the pope news aside from “someone recorded a bird, I think his name is Robert, he’s got like, a popesona now.”

Politics piss me off so much, this place really had two old men debating and arguing like children when decades ago they were just regular middle aged men who had actual goals and sentence coherency. Shut the whole thing down bro. Some people are not beating the “can’t read” allegations. I’m tired of living in a world where politicians are old people who won’t live long enough to see the consequences of their ignorance They should not be doing politics, put gramps back in the chair

Other politicians getting arrested for protesting and everyone is expected to just nod their heads and pretend that history isn’t going to take an immediate sharp direction to “uh oh” territory for the country but we’ve been steering towards that with the amount of misinformation in regards to the wars overseas and in general.

Witnessed middle aged man wearing a shirt with itachi on it reading “I paused my anime to be here”.

And overheard a conversation about stealing yogurt from a baby. Grocery stores are full of weirdness including the screaming baby chorus. People get mad when they expect you to read their minds and magically know every detail of a thing they want instead of just saying it (I haven’t unlocked mind reading on my skill tree yet)

My house has been getting plagued by a bird that sounds like a child’s impression of a bird call Possibly a crow or rooster

In a few days it’ll have been a year since I graduated and I’ll still be jobless lmao I still don’t like driving but I’ve been doing it slightly more often just to practice more.

The funniest part of the job hunting saga nightmare is presumably the moment I do get a job I’m gonna switch immediately to “damn I miss being unemployed”

Every Single Day I Am On Some Sort of Quest

Tried to order a pizza and the bot they had was absolute garbage, it would say zip codes that were two zip codes glued onto one and it kept clipping through the conversation

Media

Shrinkflation really just stayed and every big company is going “we’re not going back to OG anything, suck it”. Downsizing whether you like it or not is the sentiment of the year

Nikki post fireworks festival was… a mess. So it turns out that the update absolutely tanked the goodwill that I had for infinite Nikki, it was so weird, and I’m probably going to try out an earlier Nikki game. I was so confused. The OG intro was deleted, I really wanted that nice dress… what the heck. Fastest speedrun of a gacha to hiatus playing I’ve seen for myself.

Golden week is always a fun time to buy games on sale on steam right until it turns out you were using the wrong gift card and have no clue where your actual birthday card went My money, gone.

Despite being mostly digital I still always prefer physical because companies can and will take away digital items whenever they feel like it and preservation isn’t a problem to them

The appeal of HHD is making people’s homes and furniture look nice. Also it’s based on their reactions I figure Hearts means they really enjoy it

Maplestory worlds introduced a game called chuchu burger and I just wasted hours getting burger recipes of various kinds and meats

The people yearn for diner dash

new steam game added: bongo cat gives me more incentive to type and write notes on the computer because i see the cat bongoing back and forth so its pretty much the "stay on your computer to work" thing instead of like, half assed listening to a lecture energy that I've been doing.

What kind of devil did bubsy contract with to get a collection Trying to figure out what franchise I’ve been in that was the most beaten to death and capcom still has a problem with Megaman where they occasionally drag him out of the basement and then shove him back in

*Konami pachinko machine looming in the background* Hmm. “How does it feel to have your favorite franchise go down in flames” versus “don’t ask questions, just consume product” are RLM’s only contributions to my vocabulary

Nobody hates so and so franchise more than its fans, many such cases Sometimes I wish I could be nicer but I feel as if I’m a born hater You don’t really get extreme long lasting fandoms anymore, just seasonals that come and go

I mean, with so much stuff to do I guess the fact is a lot of stuff will just be “one and done” aside from collabs and merchandise. This is probably to blame on streaming because like, if you don’t have so and so service, get bent, and so and so show will be released all at once so people will watch it in one go and then discussion is based on the marathon rather than an organic one episode per week fling.

Every day my evergreen statement about “if you don’t want people to use fan scans you have to actually translate the manga to other languages with good translations that aren’t MTL or botched with speed reading like the JJK one and make it accessible through an app or releasing regularly” does not become outdated Then some smart aleck goes “buy it in Japanese and learn Japanese” what do I do if the Japanese sites don’t even let overseas IPs onto the sites or take their money

Woolie’s 8 year old PSA Continues to not age Shut up about your fan projects.

Coding

Every time I could’ve been coding most time I was just playing chuzzle instead. It’s a real issue.

The temptation of “ohhhhh rerrange your folders again ohhhhhh” is the evil of man I will NOT do that

Me looking at the things I’ve been doing with people’s layouts and free templates going like: Yeah this stuffs unoptimized and it’s my fault Keep it in

This website is run on duct tape and dead dreams.

I’ve got templates for sure but I’m gonna basically Frankenstein the foundation until you barely recognize the template

Me typing online in gifcities.org to find the absolute crustiest gif possible to post on my webbedsite

500 pages of Geocities scoured and bookmarked based on gifcities results MB size: idk, like, 12

My goal is always staying within 500 MB and so far aside from the gallery the largest folders are the Pokemon centric ones to the point it’s making up like, 2/5 of the count. Well, I was Pokemon focused for a bit… Revamping the pokemon pages again. I swear I’m always fighting that part of the site.

Rather than completely obliterate the page I decided I’d make this one into an OC design making process in order to make do. Too much fun doing world building and research instead of actually writing anything.

I’m considering if I ever need to abruptly leave to a different site that has less gb file size I’d just split the site between pokemon stuff versus everything else I’m into. I’ve been thinking about it since like, April. I’d need to get a name though. On the gifcities thing…

I might like looking at the things but I can’t stand weaponized nostalgia and quite frankly I never want to return to some of that era I use for my cherry picked “aesthetic” because quite frankly a lot of those things sucked. I used to have one of those aesthetic nostalgic things for a bit on a different site but some people go too far into leaning to territory that makes me uncomfortable.

I like being resource aware and sort of like recycling images as opposed to having images that are so specifically tied to one use that they never get reused so therefore if possible I tend to eliminate unnecessary things which is why this will end up being another image heavy update Because I yap way too much here As opposed to barely saying anything IRL I guess…

Occasionally I try to just recycle the pages I already have on here as opposed to just, getting the old layouts because a few of the layouts/templates I used have gone down and aren’t really available anywhere anymore due to people taking their sites down

When the ability to scope just isn’t scoping because you’re bored so you just don’t want to do a thing like me wanting to make a seasons page and just never doing it so I have no reason to use some effects. It sucks when you have work to do and your brain is absolutely refusing to work at all

Spring 2025

April

Mood: exhausted

Musings

Too cute has been added to the morning routine Maybe kittens and puppies will get me to get up early with motivation I do with I could have far more motivation sometimes but in the world I live in it's the hustlers life or bust. The issue with some people I know is that they are voracious consumers who only throwing themselves into doing tasks in order to not have any sort of introspection on their livelihood which makes it very difficult to have conversation pieces because they usually go like this:

Them: I have been working hard on various things and taking multiple online classes and have been looking into 3D printing keychains and have binged through multiple shows while also helping plan for this volunteer session and a wedding and a medical intervention all this week, how about you? Me: been getting into king gizzard and the lizard wizard lately

Literally every single problem I have had in my life day 1 is from the fact I live in a country and world that wants people to work themselves to death and various other ways they can have that demise as long as some rich dude can squeeze a penny more out of people's cold dead hands. No thinking, watch only, do this thing, think about things, be mad about the things, don't think and take it slow, be fast, always rush, always be swallowed up by the ocean of mindless media until you drown. The lifeguards aren't for you, they're for the people who have enough to stay on the beach. Everyone else gets to swim with the fishes! No, I still don't have work. Everyone around me is pissed off that I don't control the job market so I get instantly rejected or ghosted.

The buildup to a rant I've had about politics which somehow keeps getting worse the longer the month goes on: Life is not supposed to reflect The Onion.

You know I'd never consider the Wendy's Twitter account and dennys acting a little silly on tumblr to lead to the clown behavior the official US government Twitter does on the daily but I should've expected this when my family members got addicted to the news just to see what was being posted on shitter.com because that's the way the world runs these days. The most horrifying realization of politics that drives me mad is seeing the line between people getting mad at so and so franchise for having a women protagonist directly leading to people in the government getting fired because of made up buzzwords weaponized to become a problem by old people in charge who are malicious and actively hostile to all forms of life because some white guys got mad at acknowledging that people of color and people with different genders exist and that they weren't the main character. I want to live in a world where people don't have to suffer based on how much money they do or don't have and that they shouldn't be weighed based on their contributions to a greater whole of society and that everyone gets to have basic human rights regardless of what higher ups believe people deserve. This concept of wanting people to be allowed to make their own choices about their lives and be happy apparently labels me as a deviant. Capitalism would let a thousand people die just to wring out a penny and that's why executives were so happy to say screw the FDA and cut funding for welfare and science and health and we've been having more cases of food poisoning and disease ever since. There are repercussions to this for years to come. Truly bizarre to live in a world that thrives on ignorance and encourages it.

No conscience for cowards who run this clownery. US and UK competing for who can do the worst policies within the span of a month soon to become a case by case basis including eugenics. I can't watch politics for long because they stress me out. The news makes me more miserable. I wish I didn't have to live through historical events every day. Fuck JKR so much for using all her money with that goddamn franchise to funnel it directly into harming the rights of human beings. The nightmare never ends even when I sleep. Shit sucks, man.

Pros of living at home: Cons of living at home: you live at home.

Worst part of semi sort of getting a diagnosis: people around me becoming armchair psychologists when the other factor is likely the bad tendencies of being an asshole. I've spent a large chunk of my life forced to do tasks for someone who can but refuses to do so and guilt trips everyone and rages like a tornado and then everyone wonders why I'm not enthused spending every day of my life looking for a job to do the same thing. "No, it's the children who are wrong."Many such cases. I got medication this year for my mental health issues but I haven't actually written anything or sorted notes note wise in the form of like, making a coherent plot. It is kind of funny though how wide the contrast is in the form of my franchise writing where Kirby is getting to go on picnics with his friends while meanwhile some of my Pokémon story concepts feature blasphemy. Something about the latter makes me want to stretch it like putty. With the way I am and the characters I like and OCs I tend to create you'd think I'd be into meta knight as a character but he's like, some guy to me. I like dedede far more.

It's the one year anniversary of the time I gave pokemon trainers stands/domains/superpowers/whatever using glitches on discord. Maybe I should try actually writing out that story instead of just vibing with ideas. You know how I'm always complaining about cleaning files? So it turns out I've got like, 15k .txt files lying around which is probably years of notes transferred off my phone. I'm the spiders George of writing notes. So if I tried writing instead of having scatterbrained ideas, I wonder how much I could accomplish"? It's time to lock in.

Food

Nothing new or exciting here aside from me cooking the slowest egg of my life on the lowest fire. If you want to feel the boredom ticking by, just cook things slowly. Tried Inari for the first time, which was like, fried tofu and sweet rice. Interesting flavor and texture. Media

Everytime I remember tax season I immediately think of the bob and George comic which is probably because of the sheer comedy of making robots do taxes. I bet they have to do taxes in transformers. Redownloading phone games only reminds me that if they're not like, graphics intensive resource hogs then they are absolutely aggressive with advertisements with my every action immediately getting bombed by an AD. "They sure don't make this easy," says person trying to download apps to make cute OC designs instead of drawing. If you don't have a good phone with good connectivity and no offline games then it's a mess, I feel bad because all this time I could be spending doing anything else is just ad after ad. I have a creative rut where I haven't drawn in months and keep coming up with ideas but not actually doing anything. No motivation to pick up the pen whatsoever. Happy pet story and FEH have been redownloaded, the former basically being my animal crossing on my phone before pocket camp came out, and died. (Also, $20 bucks for it if you didn't get the discounted OG? Hm.) honestly I'm just fishing in it but the same obnoxious song loop reminded me why I kept it on mute. Currently on my actual now decent used phone without deprecated battery which I swapped out the old one for I've redownloaded fire emblem heroes if only to have a version of a map theme from Awakening looping so I don't use YouTube and get an ad (note: I hope Nintendo music adds in music from a large library for a while but I also wish Nintendo would stop having their heads up their butts in terms of pricing and being behind with streaming services and PC usage. A person can dream, I guess.)

I don't even summon much in FEH as much as I used to, so I have reserves full of randoms from games I haven't played and my current team is a bunch of evil versions of good guy characters. Last time I paid attention to the story was somewhere in between the land of the dead and the fairies and I think Veronica got an upgrade to not be evil anymore so that's like"¦ 3 books behind. Alfonse continues to have all the protagonist energy in the world to go "I'm killing the Norse gods one by one" and meanwhile Sharena is there. Postknights is some simple fun.

Remembered I can play other games on delta so I've been replaying Kirby 64. It's as nice as I remember but it's been years so I've completely forgotten some puzzle solutions so I sit going "which ability combo did I need for that"¦.?". A bit of trial and error for some puzzles but at least the musics nice and the aesthetics are that of a 3D dreamland 3. Especially the backgrounds; they still have that same pastel hand color thing. I've got terrible aim so I keep missing the monster cards. There's a category of games called "I love you but I would not 100% you ever again" and for me that's Yoshi's island and super princess peach because of the stealth missions and Yoshi's island is probably because my switch is gathering dust despite the fact I have various VC games I should be playing on there too but. Switch.

I've never seen stocks tank so badly reputation wise for a Nintendo console since the Wii U, or maybe it's because my behind wasn't that online. It's called the switch 2 because you switch to other games. Literally found a bunch of gift cards and ordered Pokémon scarlet. The itch in the background of my head is "idk, what if the game is actually good" which is why I don't listen to my impulsive brain often, but it wasn't like I spent actual money. Gift cards. I also got used copies of other games from the store and I've got steam and my backlog.

Me, after failing last time to get cards and I got sleeves: this is the LAST time I'm getting pokemon cards Grocery guy issued a convo with me because the scalpers are so prominent they even get local stores. My sweet MapleStory child has been homogenized with mobile UI this is the worst ending route possible

But we also did get an announcement of an official classic server so it's perfectly balanced or whatever The dichotomy of the media in full swing these days. Sometimes I'll enjoy something and other times I'll be watching it just to fill the space but going "I wish I was watching something else." Least favorite of all is the boring ass corporate homework brand synergy where there's gotta be all lore all self references no filler all seriousness I'm snoozing in the club where is the WHIMSY. I need joy in my life, I feel like I'm not a big fan of "the story is over and everyone is sad and died and everything they did was for nothing" unless the tragedy is sold really well instead of subversions. I don't want tweets for canonicity within a story, put that shit in the actual story. This was probably a realization I had when planet robobot's miiverse posts muddled things up. Planet Robobot had some funny as hell anectodes about the soundtrack though because they got a real chicken and cat for the final boss battle and the factory investigation remix involved the composer breaking his glasses to make an instrument twang.

The problem is when a thing is good I don't talk about it that much because like I go "I liked it, it was good" and move on but when things are bad it gives me this incessant power to go into drivel about how a thing would be good if it wasn't designed to be as middling as possible. Paradoxical. Like Kirby is one of my favorite franchises but I barely talk about it on the site because I'm like "Kirby was good, I liked the thing" but if it happens to be a different franchise with varying qualities good and bad I'll dedicate multiple pages on how I wish the thing was more consistent. My least favorite Kirby game is star allies but I'm not going to have massive rambles over it, I'll just be like "idk man, it's kind of a game that didn't do it for me outside of a few spots" and that's it. Like I'll be over here writing essay length paragraphs about how I don't even hate the hypothetical thing, I just wish it was worth my while. What a messy mind I have. I wish I could talk more about things I enjoy. Maybe I should reevaluate my stance on talking about things.

Another of my thoughts: we need to banish all artists and celebrities from social media so they don't have a 1 to 1 connection to their fans and warp their perception on their writing. Fan interaction has probably changed direction of so many things based on the insecurity of developers.

I think TV Show seasons should be 26 episodes as a standard again because 13 isn't cutting it. What about pokemon"” I'm going to be honest, I don't think anything is changing the direction of officially developed pokemon games.

Online Stuff

Sometimes there's some real town crier energy in statements I get told about unwillingly where you just gotta nod your head and go "okay, have a nice day." Why are they launching celebrities to the moon? Other times I go "incomprehensible, have a rotten day." I wish I did not have to hear about the political clown show driving in their clown car. Calibre is such a versatile read program for doing whatever, it's got pdfs, it's got epubs, it's got cbz Sweet. Shoutouts to KyBook and Pocketbook especially since the sorting function on KyBook actually lets me figure out what ebook belongs to which author from my big hoard (aside from stuff that didn't make it on there yet).

You can just drag and drop notes from notes to files which admittedly was a very stupid process but it worked Fc2web is shutting down? Dang, there goes another spot to make a site. Feels like the internet is always shrinking"¦

Tumblr might be dying again So like, normal year for tumblr Completely distracted by remembering that in the code if you use inspect code to look at MP3's tumblr begs you not to which I discovered years ago when I found this one guy who'd make voice clips for Megaman characters.

Site Plans

I want to make like a sprite dollhouse showcase because I wanted to make an actual dollhouse but since flash died none of my sprite dollhouse sites work anymore properly. Lame. I wanted to use some of the meet the heroes artwork from fire emblem heroes for my seasons page(s) but I got lazy and none of the artwork has transparency. I could've just edited it myself but like, there's far easier images to use out there online. I don't want the scope to be too big though since I've got a secondary thing going on so maybe I'll just make a single page for the dollhouse concept and then move on. I'm likely expanding the XY and Sword Journal page to feature ALL of the current 3ds and Switch Pokemon games I have so I don't need to make new pages. I'm trying to find a way to randomly generate images to display on various pages, I've already loaded in images from sources already like the Kirby Twitter celebration images to mimic an old fan site I used to visit. If I had to pick more images to use though I'd probably pick stuff from the Kirby story time books. There's some books that are pretty cute, like the one where Kirby goes around hugging friends. It turns out trying to figure out how to rotate images randomly would require JavaScript, time, knowledge, and a lot of head scratching that would be way more at the moment then I can think of, so I just went to the easy version of switching out an image by just"¦ switching out an image.

March

I wish I had more interesting stuff going on. It’s been nothing much. Feels like I’m in a poison swamp or something.

Photo of the month-

My life feels like an filler episode of Naruto when the bum flute is playing in the background and the characters are about to do fuck all.

Musings

It feels like some months just get completely vaporized time wise. It’s what has been happening with March, because it’s halfway through the month and I haven’t done anything noteworthy writing or art wise or coding or anything at all and I’ve been in the existential crisis hole. I’m also in the self awareness stage of being bored and lonely and burned out and not having fun with my regular activities and still jobless and constantly being pestered to do everything and threatened to be kicked out whenever I’m not sucking up to do everything as I’m called and knowing everything I want to do isn’t doing anything and like… pick a struggle.

It sucks to exist knowing there’s something wrong with you and everyone IRL takes it as a slight against them that you can’t keep up. No encouragement either. Instead I get called lazy and a free loader and I’m still not doing enough and to shut up and I should be glad I’m even allowed to be here and I should’ve been locked out of my living space and others have done more than me. Way to motivate a person to keep going; then everyone wonders why I never want to particularly be around them when that’s their thoughts about me. Just my luck that the people who call themselves nice say the cruelest things and see nothing wrong with them. 5 years since covid started. Man.

Food

The humble jalapeño pepper. Spent time drying up onions to make onion powder and the input to output ratio was uh. Really something.

Media

I haven’t touched anything new whatsoever, literally too tired to even get myself to watch shows, so I haven’t completed much because I’m dragging through the mud. When I try to watch stuff I was still going through though my brain was far too pessimistic. Life would be so much easier if I could enjoy things without a guy whispering in my ear about how things suck. Another problem is literally nearly every new popular thing is on services I don’t have so whenever I hear about them from friends I’m like “I don’t have that…”
Robert Kyle has returned to guilty gear.
I went to a comic store, which was pretty nice, but I mostly ended up browsing through the manga first. (Look into comic store—> manga). Ended up getting kicked in the knee money wise because I immediately zoomed over to look for transformers comics and ended up with various continuities outside of just Skybound but not in any order so now I’ve got stuff from marvel (like, issue 1, 50, and one about galvatron), Dreamwave, and something from IDW I bought because the cover looked cool.
Every single comic is like one piece because no matter where you start looking you’ll still need to catch up forever, a conversation I heard. I also attempted to get pokemon cards but joke was on me, I just bought sleeves.
Maplestory worlds is on mobile which means the grind never ends on the tablet let’s go What about Maplestory m Sucks

Read through: Magical Girl Incident It’s a short but kind of interesting romper about a wage guy becoming a magical girl and a mystery of what’s going on.

February

This month was all over the place but simultaneously nothing happened. Yapping sessions below.

Mood: Screaming

Photo of the month-

Current Radio App: Simple Radio Current Watches: Deadliest Catch, War for Cybertron, 100 Days to Indy Reading: Majin Tensei Nougami Neuro/ Neuro: Supernatural Detective Currently Playing: Earth Wars, New Horizons, Pokemon Masters

Musings

Winter used to be one of my favorite seasons but due to a multitude of reasons it’s quickly become a least liked. Car cleaning is now an example. Summer is worse because it’s hot as hell and bugs get everywhere. Spring would be A, but the bugs return and pollen makes me sneeze.
Therefore, I heart fall. No problems in fall aside from rain, the good weather to have flavored coffee, no obligatory holidays for people to shriek about me getting wrong because like. Thanksgiving? No one’s doing that because no one ever ate what I made even when I went out of my way to find recipes to try. Let’s just order food instead.
Valentine’s Day is so awkward because everyone asks me if I’ll ever find anyone to love but uh, sorry. I can barely even make friends. My fault for being socially awkward and distant and sort of an ass in hindsight but I was also undiagnosed and having an offset episode of living with some of the worst stressors in my life who still continue to stress me out!
I think it’s more important to have everything broken down into singular things rather than being consolidated onto an “everything” app. Same thing happened with my notion where I dolled it up and decorated it with all these pretty dashboards and to do lists and doohickeys and then never touched it after graduating. It’s pretty quick to switch off Spotify I just went back to radio apps and started using my.noise or just sleeping in silence like I used to. Well, back to using my radio station apps in the meantime… radio.garden and simple radio to be precise.
Also, Deezer is pretty much the same thing. The only issue was that like. Any of my songs that were far too obscure or video game soundtracks did not make it over to deezer. And there are songs on there still I forgot to take off that still make me like, rapidly emotional due to the circumstances I found them that makes me unable to listen to them (I can barely get through strobe light and strobe last without feeling melancholy). Also, tidal has no free version. Just premium.
Plus my playlists that were too large got cut off… But really, I’d rather have a far worse selection than to keep Spotify.

Gonna give a shoutout to badgraph1cghost’s dephoning guide since for the most part it’s probably the most useful thing I’ve seen to getting off a phone. https://badgraph1csghost.neocities.org/dephoning
I feel like I’m always saying the same thing over and over about using phones less, but I feel like it’s genuinely a lot better to have things to do that aren’t connected to the internet. I say that, and my major time sink has been sorting through my online files.

They call me the sorter because… I’m sorting. This is a chronic thing with me, but also, I have university projects that I should have in a portfolio but 1. I don’t have a portfolio. 2. I have no clue where all the files even are. File sorting is always a spot of fun right until you mistakenly think you’ve deleted something that’ll be a pain to recover only to find out it’s been mislabeled and put in the wrong folder.



This is like a constant running gag in my life. Downloaded shimeji from the official site. No clue what that little guy is but he’s funny looking so he gets to stay. Have I been creating? No. I’ve been making aesthetic boards of things I want to draw. I think my productivity tanked where it’s like, ideas, are spinning, not so much actually doing anything aside from boards. Pinterest sucks but it is kind of hilarious to get punched in the face consecutively by artwork that is likely decades old from deleted accounts and your for you page going “hey you’d like this” and I go in response “I did like that but never show me anything ever again.” Will I show them? Nah. And there’s bigger issues in my life so drawing and writing are on the back burner. Wish I could do more but like, I’ve got big fish to fry. Sick of living day to day in historical events that will have ramifications for years on end and like. I gotta do the dishes and get my car fixed. Not enough time in my life for me to have an existential crisis breakdown. I feel like the most zombie like I’ve felt since Christmas where I did have a breakdown.
Sometimes it feels like I was raised wrong as a joke and the only thing I managed to be good at that I was forced into doing basically evaporated the moment I graduated and now all that’s left is a person who has no social skills and no desire to hustle or have any applications to the work force so everyone’s pissed off at me and expecting me to magically have the solution for everything instantly. Please get me a job so I can experience the magic of hustling burnout for the sake of frivolous spending. Sarcasm. If you’re wondering where these gifs of that girl you’ve probably seen before come from, they’re usually from this thing called deco mail/decome. It’s a japanese phone app thing. I don’t have the exact sources since mostly even though I no longer use my tumblr account I take them off tumblr’s I used to frequent.

Food

I bought this cauliflower wing thing and it really pisses me off now the ratio of plastic to food is so goddamn noticeable that I opened the bag and it was like less than half the bag was full so it’s a waste of money and plastic. Birria tacos rule. I’ve been attempting to eat more breakfast instead of just relying on protein drinks and bars, so far it was a good attempt with making oatmeal, until the whole problem with living in a place is everyone else eating the same food and seeing a cooked meal as an invite. Like living with pigeons. My muffins can attest to that. Lemon was good for one. I finally figured out how to use that fancy blender that’s been my bane for years. I was turning the handle in the wrong direction because I put the handle on wrong. I felt like an idiot.

Media/Online Stuff

I’ve been watching deadliest catch. Some real exciting stuff. I saw a raven pluck eggs out of a carton to eat them because they’d throw the eggs at other boats. They stole a porta potty to prank the other guys. Also learning about marine biologist things. Lobsters get eggs and notches so they don’t get caught. I live under a rock when it comes to actual public events though so I don’t know things if they aren’t like mentioned in the area? I saw a thumbnail of a game I used to play getting a new character and I had like zero recognition or interest. After years of having them sit on my hard drive and 5 years since the shutdown, I’ve finally begun looking at my own personal archive of an old webcomic site.
They’re uh. They’re alright, I guess. I appreciate the hand drawn ones, but majority of what I backed up were sprite comics. Lotta Kirby and Megaman and Pokemon and Sonic in there, plenty of hotels and showcases . some hand drawn Nuzlocke comics too! Recolors and sprite comics are a lost art, there’s still places like comic fury and the duck place but it’s all about hand drawn webtoons these days. There’s still plenty of sprite animations like with the MapleStory animations and like the thousands of Mario and Sonic crossovers but it feels like the concept of just having a bunch of sprites hanging out doesn’t really work in this era. It’s sort of weird thinking about how the medium is slowly dying. The thing is with fan content it’s a total roulette between finding some massive fan comic about sonic fighting Mario and megaman or a coffee shop AU that covers economics or an epic novel spanning an absolutely absurd series where you go “I know the premise is nuts but let them cook” and I cannot in good mind recommend anything to anyone because I wade through anything with zero regards for quality or taste. I’m out here with pages of incomprehensible notes that should’ve stayed in the drafts.
I guess it’s better than the alternative of just entirely continuing to down spiral with the users disliking every change and eventually becoming deserted, which is what ended up happening anyways. Actually, no, they pulled the plug on the site as the archive team was still in the middle of doing preservation on the server. Sometimes checking out old spots is not worth it seeing people continue to be unhappy and not like anything they try out and continue to just be haters. Or if the entire site has collapsed into a ghost town, which is the case with nearly every forum I’ve ever frequented. Seeing the language change but still have the same cyclical arguments is existential as everyone stays in the crab bucket. Not having social media bites when I need to actually know news. I had zero interest in bsky though. Every other community based thing is on discord. I barely use that.
It’s still better than being on Twitter though, like, I feel like if I had Twitter for a longer period and kept it post election that my mental health would be way worse and I think it kind of sucks that we essentially have this massive lens and glance into people’s lives 24/7 and people act out for clout because the fastest way to get attention on the internet is to be as infuriating as possible that just consumes them. I can’t imagine what it’s like there where people are definitely defending anything and how far are people going to go to defend and justify someone just because they’re rich and famous until they spew the same hateful rhetoric or were already aligned with them? Like people want to say separate art from artist but that’s inherently difficult because the art didn’t come from a magic vacuum into the public hands , it came from a person with their life and context and their tastes and values and influences put into it, and it always hurts other people when the famed person or whoever made the thing just turns out to be godawful and the artist was idolized and seeing them dig deeper and like do you try to dig yourself out of the hole or do you just grab a shovel and start digging with them too? I feel like this is something I can’t put into words in the correct way aside from going that everything has a context behind it and the blame is solely on a class I took in uni where it was like “everything has an implicit and explicit bias it came with your free will”. The only fringe case is when an artist is dead and even then you still can’t let it slide because then you have to go with the fact they also had their own biases in an entirely different time period with entirely different values that aren’t 1 to 1 with the values of today. The medium is the message. And if the art is a product, again, a viewer is buying what the artist is selling no matter what medium that comes in which means the artist is profiting from it . I swear the site’s cursed and haunted and it’s been that way since 2016. I’m sick of sites trying to replicate the other bad decisions of Twitter like the end goal of the internet should not be every site looking the same copy pasted over and over design wise and stupid scrapers, get me out of here!

Tl;Dr: parasocial relationships are bad, the root of the problem once again is capitalism somehow
Kind of also doubly hate that blocking out a lot of things basically still has me with this large gap of time where I just don’t do anything at all aside from mindlessly consuming media. The most updated page is just the media log with just shows I watch and games I occasionally play and nothing else. Ditched Twitch and the fgc watching (street fighter, KOF, DBFZ, UNIB, tekken, blazblue, mvc, p4au) and streaming with speed runners and saltybet, only use YouTube nowadays for cooking videos mostly and cartoons not on apps and music not on apps, you’d think I would do more stuff with the lack of options online but instead I just nap more. Strange. No one told me it would just be insanely lonely and isolating to be unplugged from the daily dalliances. It feels like audiobooks and podcasts would be it for me instead of just watching CSB highlights and similar guys but I can’t really get into the concept of just using it because my brain would just convert it to background noise, I feel, and then I’d lose track of listening.

Pokemon area

The site I used to make my hall of fame cards for pokemon shut down the trainer card maker temporarily. Which is a shame, because I liked using it for my cards and for OCs. Also pokemon adventures Yellow’s birthday is next month (3/3). She’s cute, probably one of my favorite characters in the manga. Wish she could cameo in a main game or masters or something or maybe a poketoon.
Also the direct happened!
Pokémon concierge was super cute so I’m glad they’re making more episodes for it
It kind of sucks how much Pokémon go was sucked away from being fun by punishing people who lived in rural areas.

Anyways it’s kind of funny how every Pokémon direct has the mobile games before the mainline games and every single reactor has a piece of their soul sucked away including myself. It’s kind of semi-funny to be into masters now and see all the advertised mobile stuff which most reactors don’t care about. I think I have cafe still downloaded to my switch but I don’t touch that game. I might revamp my masters section to be less screenshot heavy and just rely on my in text summaries so the Kanto gang doesn’t get preferential treatment. Also to save space since those images are one use only. You know every new Pokémon trailer has to be based around selling nostalgia back to us because they don’t have anything new aside from designs. I once had an article thing for that but now it feels like I’d just be repeating the same points over and over. I wish I could enjoy Pokemon the same way that I used to as a kid and teen but the last game generation I really enjoyed was Alola.

Link has been removed, what was here was a former youtube video of a guy at the diablo announcement being like "is this an out of season april fool's joke or something?" in response to the "don't you guys have phones?"

I had zero expectations and I still felt zero reaction to ZA.
I understand why there’s so much emphasis on phone games since they’re the device primarily used but it kind of sucks to see all the different variety put onto the phones that are large money and time sinks and then the main game which should be the major selling point gave me zero hype. My opinion is that I don’t really want to spend the money for a base game and DLC if the trailers made me feel nothing. And I should, that’s the point of the trailers to make you want to buy it! Pokemon was one of my OG franchises and I felt… nothing. I’m not a hater, I wish I could like this and feel excited for it.
To have a cooking comparison since Pokemon loves throwing in new cooking minigames and like, a sandwich, it’s like, you just served me a bunch of side dishes and a sandwich that has been steadily been getting less cooked over the years and expecting me to want to pay for the premium toppings. With drip feed models it would be half a sandwich, thankfully it’s not that far yet. It’s like that with the DLC. Terrible comparison.

Site Plans

I’m probably fixing the masters pages once Luma beats the tournament arc. I guess I’ll try to link up more stuff on the writing page if I ever actually get around to writing more things instead of just sorting notes.

Winter 2025

Microblog Monthly: Sure Jan!

Mood: Idk, Sleepy is how I feel most days.

Musings

Quote of the month- "My desire to be well-informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane." New York Times cartoon

Photo of the month-

Signing up for news emails. Every day I wake up and look for job email. Still nothing. Job hunting sucks because I get all these sites that say they're hiring but they aren't. Plus I still have the same asshole breathing down my neck and sending me on all these useless hunts based on things they see on TikTok which usually are scams and quite frankly, it's been the absolute worst living with this person seeing them fall into this absurd brainrot rabbit hole they refuse to get out of, growing more hostile to their family members and me, and my resolution for new year's is to stop taking their shit because they've been so many different words for years that I don't think it's possible to describe how much of a total nightmare they've been.

I should get a morning routine back into my life again. Maybe the radio? Note: I wish that Spotify wasn't the dominant service for this sort of thing. I should just start using my web findings page more often because a big chunk of it was just my bookmark links.

Lately I've been listening to Waltzes. Got a recommended playlist by a piano artist. I'm gonna be getting into audiobooks and podcasts is something I say every year. Working on that.

I really completely forgot how much time gets sucked away doing mindless mid tasks right until I started getting back into using the 20 to 5 minute ratio for pomodoro and now it's like my brain is wired to do task and then"” time's up already? So turns out I got medicated and I'm like 100% on the spectrum, which does explain a lot about me. For years I just thought I was a weirdo and took every barbed insult my way as me being born wrong plus most quirks were physically and verbally beaten out of me to the point of my misery generating tendencies but it turns out my brain is literally wired in an entirely different way! Every single social interaction I've ever failed at has been explained by this and my isolation in general.

Sometimes I remember my singular professor who lived such an interesting life of selling zines and being a DJ and basically globe-trekking before getting plopped into university. Same thing with another guy who was a whole musician. I'm pretty sure they'd either love or hate this website. If university wasn't such a stressful existence I'd love to go back to it if I didn't have to pay money. The education system has totally failed when it makes people uninterested in learning anything. I need to learn other languages so badly, I'm out here being like "okay so I need to learn Spanish since I forgot all of it from academia and Korean and French and Latin and Mandarin and other Romance languages and figure out kanji and kana because I want to become a multilingual kind of person."

Food

I need a Japanese 7/11 konbini in my life. There's a regular 7/11 nearby and I think my life would change if they carried the stuff that I saw in JapanEats videos. Why does yogurt smell when it's opened so much? Normally my nose is nonexistent but it's like every time I open a yogurt it's stinky but it tastes fine. I keep trying to order this food thinking it'll be better maybe but like, it's time I give up and find another food or make it myself. They've changed the recipe so many times it barely resembles the original anymore and everytime I go "maybe it'll be good this time" nope, still mediocre.

Media

Switch 2!

There are so many anime's out in the world now that it would probably be impossible to see all of them, thankfully YouTube seems interested in showing me random openings. My interests fight each other in my brain for dominance all the time like it's some kind of pit arena. Pokemon's completely retired past last year and the only ones I'm focused on right now is the straggling X nuzlocke I started and this version of Emerald where everything's small. It's adorable. I haven't watched a precure since mahou tsukai, I thought tropical looked good, but honestly I think I might've just lost interest for the franchise and getting a trailer of the latest series just being an idol girl does not make me feel like I'd miss much if I keep not watching. Mirai Days looks good though.

Been listening to what a Mario world's released soundtrack and remixes on YouTube and honestly, Mario's a series I've completely neglected talking about on here. I think I've always been a far larger sonic person...also like, Mario's way more gameplay focused. What the heck would I talk about?

What have I been up to show wise? Juggling between smaller transformers shows while I still watch gen 1. The Machinima based show ...there's two of them and their name convention has Wars in it and honestly, I don't care, but it made it difficult to figure out which one I was actually watching. I fell asleep at one point but there was a giant blue robot speaking with a southern/cowboy accent and I was instantly enamored. Also watching Jem and the Batman. I have quite the weird lineup of long form shows whenever I don't instantly finish a show in one sitting. My favorite part of finishing a show was being able to reblog images like its a shiny badge on tumblr but I'm kind of already an image heavy hog here so I only have reaction images to use. I was trying to find a show to watch like regularly on TV and you know what, streaming has really taken the fun out of just sitting and going onto a channel to watch stuff because there's so many shows but when you just want to watch a show while folding laundry then all of a sudden it's like "can't watch that because I'm binging it, can't watch that because it's a whole movie..." that could just be me though.

Energon Universe's latest issue came out, combiner vs combiner is so cool. Wish any of the 3D shows I watched before were this cool. I've been meaning to read through that one book that's still sitting in my library page as what I'm currently reading but it's so big. It's scaring me off. Plus there's the fact that my attention span's so shot. I'd probably half pay attention to it while looking for a playlist.

Online Stuff

Seeing that social media outlets are deciding to put in AI generated user bots full time makes me feel like I dodged a bullet when I deleted my twitter in November last year alongside other things. They were already full of bots but seeing companies admit to adding in them for artificial inflation of numbers makes me really wonder what we're doing here. Same with people making AI music flooding YouTube. I think the word content has hit my list of words that cause me pain and I miss when AI dungeon was the most anyone had even thought about generational content. I don't have a TikTok, I'll never get a TikTok, it's mildly ironic to me that the US government was spending all this time fearmongering about spyware from other countries only for the TikTok crowd to flee in masse to an app that literally only had the other country in mind and now they're in the process of a China to English mass cultural exchange. In the post tumblr phase I had two spots, one's dead, the other's just not my style, and neocities is taking more of an on ice break as I pursue other hobby related things. Unfortunately I have opinions on politics that if I said freely would likely get me put on a watchlist but I'm certainly stressed out thinking that these clowns are going to be in charge of the country and that their complete lunacy is going to spread to other countries plus affect our global communication and the internet at large! I hate living through historical events that will have an effect on me and my friends!

Site Plans:

Deciding the best way to minimize fretting over the site is by giving myself mitigation by a fortnight, then to monthly, then, eventually, site updates trickle to a slow descent. I'll probably still pop in only if theres like major site breaking errors. So the blog going forwards will be either a biweekly or just a monthly sort of thing. 12 updates is probably easier to do than 24 tbh, I'm trying to focus more on just doing stuff for myself that revolves around being online less. I'm doing good with cutting off the social media entirely, so the only thing I'm still trying to stop using is YouTube, which you think would be easier since I don't even use my account anymore. Going through random bookmarks for the web findings page so I don't just have a hoard of random bookmarks. That'll be a later update.

Could always just switch to other video formats tbh. More music playlists, just watched a documentary on killer whales. No more scrolling to find a video then going "why am i watching this?" Which is my usual.

It kind of sucks to be into a new thing and be like "thing!" But have no one to talk to about the thing or like, have any desire to go onto a community based around a thing. And also returning to old things sometimes is not worth it. Things suck because I can't enjoy the things I used to enjoy anymore because I no longer enjoy them. For various reasons.