Battle of the Midoff!!
environment, X wins because the Wild Area bothers me mentally because I keep going "this isn't environmentally sustainable whatsoever" and Sword has no named Dungeons and like there's actual places in X that aren't just "city built around a gym!" It is nice to be able to see Pokémon in the overworld in Sword though actually have different reactions to a human but I could do without all the Briviary swooping down like flying eagles to attack me

Music department: I kinda don't remember many tracks from either of these games very well outside of X more because Lumiose is glued into my brain and snowbelle and sword with the yell themes because lemotif

Story: X because it doesn't infuriate me like Sword does but the stories are both mid

Characters: Maybe Sword but the bar is so low, idk, the only character I really liked in X was Shauna, but like the only ones I cared about in Sword were Bede and Marnie and Kabu and Piers and Sonia but like everyone else I was like "ehhh."

Manga Adaption: Considering at this point it's basically just Pokespe Vs Pokespe in terms of manga and the winner is pokespe either way and they're such radically different genres of story but Sword's rendition is just 1 to 1 but with better plot justifications but X’s actually has a Flare that isn’t incompetent so it’s XY I guess.

Clothes: X has a lot of clothes variety (for girls) and Sword has a lot of clothes variety (for girls) but if you're a boy then there is a continuous game of "SCREW YOU." Same with hair.

Postgame: X's postgame for the most part consisted of me grinding like an ass in battle mansion and doing the looker sidequest and then deciding hunting legendaries wasn't worth it. Sword's postgame is a $30 DLC once the lame brothers are handled. I hate both of these models.

Replayability: Sword wins team building wise because you can get through shit fast through playing through the wild area whereas X kinda just flops in terms of going into rush mode past gym 4 where you need to be in Lumiose which I guess was the X equivalent of the wild area. In terms of “playing for story”, ehhhghh… at the end of the day, Sword had more QOL but I liked X…

Difficulty: Lmao. Both these games are stupid easy X because they didnt balance the new exp share and Megas are busted and you get the kanto one for free and Lucario and there’s barely anyone in Kalos who has a team of six pokemon. If you play as is with no limits then Sword is basically made to be broken in half with the exp candies you get just for doing raids and like if you do nothing but raids you can basically never have to worry about battling again. Plus the amie equivalent bonus is a lot easier without minigames because all you have to do is feed curry

Rosters: X has a lot more pokemon at 457 but like a good chunk are trade evos or exclusives while Sword has 400 in the base roster DLC addition caps Sword off at 821 which is impressive but then you see the excluded starters in the roster and I go “why though.”

I didn’t want to do it at all like I was like “I wanna play other games” so I did but once I finished a second playthrough I had zero excuses to not do it so I did it for both boys Turns out I missed taking photos for one of ketsuban’s outfits which is going to drive me nuts so now I have to somehow recreate it It’s a bit much

Dont think this looks right at all to the og fit. It’s kinda weird when you beat a game but the overworld remains the same and static with only a handful of NPCs acknowledging you did anything I think pokemon needs like a sandbox postgame where it’s like a slice of life scenario where it’s like animal crossing and you get a handful of things to do that change all the time Where am I going Leon gave me a charmander but I have a shiny (illegal) Guess we’re doing genned now

Ketsuban raid chronicles begin I have no clue what level postgame is so let’s do this easy Two Pikachu one with an ash hat Where’s the plot Check the Weald Yep, checks out

Hi hop Ohh this is like the Calem battle where once you do that then you’re allowed to do the plot stuff Sonia wrote and published a book! Why can even you say no to putting the sword back They look worse than I ever could’ve imagined I don’t think I’ve ever been more repulsed by a Pokémon characters design I want to pick them by their haircuts and throw them into the lake HEY, don’t pick those up and get the jingle Buddy has his emergency exit Pokemon as his last Pokémon We’re using a detector to find those pompous haired weirdoes There’s a huge arrow like “HERE IS THE THING”

I might use eternatus these guys are pissing me off Is the cycle of champions and rivalries always ending in losing and the winner feeling like they haven’t won anything at all or am I just projecting onto the fact that hop and Leon are basically already taken off the shelf for the new blank slate replacement of the champion

They have models for the gym leaders in the raid? Huh. Cool. They have a little in game cutscene for the NPCs maxing out Sonia said “I’ll go online and find them” you go girl

Hey quick question why do they let you make these facial expressions for cards (I found a way to make them transparent)

Piers really has the energy of guy who is here only because his younger sibling is friends with the group and now he’s just hanging out Is this whole epilogue just “hop gets his groove back” Why does Dubwool have to turn around to do its kick animation Double edge on steel types He is not cooking

I feel like there’s a lot of characters who have like an ace and hop’s is dubwool and I can’t remember any other Pokémon from his party in spite of the game being played like twice in a row this year

You know SWSH had some really nice looking characters and then there’s these two and I need this game to not show me them in the zoom in The assistant was evil oh no, wow, not like she was a literal NPC design The plot of SWSH needs to take a little inspiration from XY being in france

There’s a minor lighting thing where if you stand in one spot you start glowing which wouldn’t be that noticeable but Sonia and her gran were both wearing white so I got flashbanged The theme is “every gym type has a corresponding Dynamax Pokémon” Yamper needs to hack the door They said “solo” I’m confused as to why this one bit has all these things I’ve seen in no other raid thing

I think if they want these postgame romps to not be like 30-40 min they need to disable fly but having to deal with this clown ensemble of “royals” for even longer would vaporize me If these two got in the gacha game I hope to god the end of service would be a day later Can you imagine if fly worked like old MMOs where you had to wait for the Pokémon to recover for like 2 hours Lol

Yamper status: hacked None of them are even using a clap animation Are they telephatic “Uuuhhh the legendaries are fake” bozo behavior!! “Old history good” you guys didn’t even DO anything “We deserve respect as descendants” no you don’t This “story” is actively sabotaging itself with these two and their limp hairstyles I hope they never show up again Do not speak to me you third rate NPCs Why does it have the DBZ power up sound It has the bass dog music again

My favorite part is i completely forgot to take rocky helmet off Phyllali so pokemon keep getting chip damage The strategy of “leech seed+ sand attack” has served me well for 2 years running since I started documenting playing pokemon games actively versus my passive childhood “play and forget”

The entire plot of this was “some guys were mad that their fake clout was exposed so they tried to drug the magic dog but the other magic dog and the literal champion of the region were right there” That dog just turned 180 degrees and hopped away I liked the old version of the dog music better, they turned up the dog synth too much in this one

Okay what happens if I don’t catch it because leech seed kills it Or rocky helmet could also happen on god This keeps happening I keep killing postgame legendaries on these runs It’s like the slowpoke all over again Mandatory catch

There’s like a 50-50 chance bewear could kill in one go If it’s mandatory what is this catch rate They for real said it’s 10/255 and you will feel that I don’t have anything that can tank behemoth blade and I shoved the master ball into my PC No heavy ball Okay what about dusk Are you kidding me Works all the time huh 100% of 100% dusk ball rates

I’m not going to lie, I rather would’ve had just gone with “you can find the legendaries chilling” like in emerald versus whatever they were trying to do here Piers really went “stop calling me when you have problems” What was the point of making me even go there if Sonia was just gonna teleport me to the end I haven’t said much about it but these dialogue choices are completely the pits where it’s like “I would not say that”

The game: Hey, Hop also has a legendary now, isn’t that cool! Me carrying around Eternatus and Zacian and making curry: Huh, what He is emotion dumping on me in the middle of the battle Look, the dev team is clearly trying to do something with this character conveying it through this medium Yuh huh look my bewear is punching his snorlax he could maybe have picked a slightly better time to say all this Does Hop acknowledge if you just use eternatus or no He does not You know even in terms of competitive meta Zacian completely outclasses Zamazenta from what i understand of competitive Everyone remembers the sword wielding hero, not so much the shield protector
Oh god, no, the cycle continues of the rival giving up and becoming a professor. This is my fault. No, I do not want this character to be goddamn monarchy, abolishing the throne immediately Abdication

All of this is making me wonder right now what the heck the government administration of galar even is No way it’s primarily the league but it seems like Marco cosmos was the largest conglomerate of the commercialized power to the point it was basically a monopoly that ran galar in terms of the monetary tourist trap that the spectacle of dynamax gym battles would be Okay but since Leon and Oleana joint have the place running what does that mean Is Leon basically like the president of an entire country now or just the company (I’m the only one who would ask these types of idiotic questions)

The game finally has the day night cycle working Freedom. Gotta suck if you’re a rival in the pokemon world and you’re stuck with someone who’s a total jerkwad about the entire thing like “what are you gonna do, beat me in a battle?” And then you end up in the insurmountable pits watching them only get better and outright replace you if they find a better rival and your relationship is nothing more than a footnote while you have to find an alternative job that is far away from what was once your original dream because you’ll have to live in their shadow forever otherwise (Which apparently was what happened with Leon and Sonia) Did you not write an entire meta story about that once I mean yeah but that wasn’t because of Hop There’s a type null here Thoughts on battle tower They got Toby fox to compose this song and apparently he snuck in a reference to a homestuck song in it here look at Leon’s costume He got rid of everything but the hat

8/30 Wisteria The title screen changes whenever your character changes costumes too

I FUMBLED no dusknoir for you, lmao Okay so I was messing around with bgs for cards and turns out you can just like use the one off white background to make transparent images of trainers so technically I can make a ton of Pokémon OCs through this as long as they meet the criteria of: being white The thing that kills me is the hair flopping in the wind like a vaguely large image of something that I don't want to say at all

What about the DLC

Verdict: The gym leaders have brain cells but like the NPCs are dragging down the count I really did try doing the postgame again with Wisteria and I was like… I don’t wanna play this anymore so I closed the game and started playing pokemon masters.

"would you buy the DLC" I am still on the fence my normal philosophy would be "wait for 3rd game imporovements" because it doesn't change the fact the main game is like a dry rotissere chicken and the swordwart shielbert part makes me want to eject the cartridge out of my switch like if I bought the game as is for $60 dollars at launch as is I don't even think it was worth the $40 dollars i spent on it at gamestop the thing is it is like a very good rotissere chicken, the recipe hasn't changed at all, but it's kinda sauceless It's just a boring game. It's a nothing game. It's perfectly fine and playable but like It's just a pokemon game. It didn't dissapoint me, I just didn't feel anything.

Ummm. Idk. I need a break from sword. I feel like I might be crashing out pretty soon for Pokémon related stuff.

Going to be honest i don’t feel like taking notes for every part of the game so I’ll only go with anything new I noticed that wasn’t there before hand or just an outfit supercut because a lot of this game so far is just me doing raids and hoping that I refresh the raid den to not just have the same four ghost mons over and over I’m not keeping dates up, only new date will be when this game ends Wist has no hat. I just saw gyarados spinning aggressively in a lake Biancle… Bioncle… Bionicle.

Why is this weather so ugly, can’t see a thang I wish the TVs actually gave out info or there was a radio I could use to check the weather I think the map does that but I’d love if it was in real time like a schedule The rotom rally gets me watts, so I could just farm my way to getting the ultimate upgrade super early on and still never leave the wild area The payout sucks tho when its only one spot I can make it up with the base pay from a raid We are truly vibing in the wild area Why are there designs on the back of shirts that won’t normally be seen in the overworld because of the huge bag Gorgeist Are all the ghosts I’m getting trade evolutions or something, how absurd

Okay, now that I have her though I can use grass moves for Nessa When can I get the special ghost encounters..? Wandering spirit is such a silly ability, every time I hit I keep going back and forth How come toxitricity protected a random lighthouse Interesting Not many guys know what the heck to do against a shedinja so the AI just spams status moves. Revive is now the funniest thing to use since it’s only 1 HP Also now I gotta think all the time because bug has weaknesses and a lot of Pokémon learn moves that are the weaknesses (dreadnaw the bite Pokémon… idk.) Water pulse spam, I’m getting Misty flashbacks Curse stall!

I need a frillish… Not until surf or a weather condition or a raid RNG luck Man Huh? When did I take 49 damage? It was at full HP… All I did was go into the dusty bowl? Yeah whatever, idk. It works.

Jeez I shouldn’t have used the exp candy S Extreme over leveling on my end because I didn’t know the amount they gave out This might be the most easy game to snap in half difficulty wise in just by using in game resources I got the frillish! I’m trying to rotate out team members so I have more type coverage So I don’t think I’ll be keeping up with using an eviolite since there are wild area encounters that are the trade Pokemon

Onto the fire gym Gonna aim for a Litwick in here The first time I thought there was only 3 mons in general but turns out they respawn The AI will definitely get Shedinja eventually since a lot of mons have bite and fire coverage so I’m benching it for now. The fighting one is after, right? How the heck did people find out all the Pokémon within all the dens and their percentages Just looking on Serebii is making me go “that’s too much to think about I’ll just stick to what I have” Whoaaahh, is that raid battle a charmeleon?! That’s nice I guess. Free exp.

I still think its kinda stupid that you had to pay for a DLC to transfer if one of your pokemon isn’t popular enough to make it onto the base roster like you’re telling me that with all the Charizard push in this game bulbasaur and Squirtle are chopped liver until DLC when alola island scan handed out starters like candy

Currently shedinja is looking like the one who might get PC boxed since I want dreepy and wanderer dusknoir for physical I don’t want an eviolite dusclops. But why is it a 1% encounter dragon Sheesh Got it in a raid den Noice

It’s really funny playing with the Pokémon and then they stop and go “I want curry” but like. You’re a shedinja. Where does the food go.

Okay so turns out I basically can’t catch Dusknoir until the 8th gym because the way the badges are set up gym 7 only lets you catch up to 55 which dusknoir by default is always above Guess Shedinja stays for a very very long time or maybe no dusknoir at all Driftblim is also a potential weak link since I only ever use her to spam gust Really, any trade ghost wanderer would be good but I’ve already used gastly a lot for gen 1 and I like switching teams up

Bea fight Counter doesn’t work Lmao How fast are speedruns for SWSH? Pretty short if you team build before hand I think, right? 4 hours?! Sheesh.

Opal fight Why does this togekiss have insane coverage Now what. The rock gym town selling punk shirts makes 0 sense, if spikemuth had a store these clothes would definitely be there Note to self Find a level cap for flying run That wasn’t fun at all. I keep forgetting about sturdy. I straight up wasn’t paying attention to the bob’s your uncle cutscene, I pressed A and was like “huh, sure, okay.” The skip button needs better utilization. Where does the 2nd dragon come from? Like I always wonder that for a pokemon where the pokemon just gets another version of itself, does it just pop into existence? So like can everyone’s rotom bike touch water or is it just the player’s again? As predicted and pretty obvious by how badly I did with yell fights Piers nearly wiped the team the first try

But he didn’t No encores I really did rely on aftermath and curse stall If it works it works It was scummy but it worked Hold up Does this skunktank really have no attack moves aside from sucker punch Certainly not I’d HOPE not.

Snarl! 8/29

In theory I could do something incredibly funny for the double battle experience and keep self destruct as the main move There’s nothing against the rules saying I cant do that I didn’t buy any extra revives I just went straight to the gym Do I even need them? Considering Piers… Well, I won’t have to rematch him, so I’m fine. I really shouldve gotten rid of flygon, why’s it got crunch Oh cursed body pulling through Disabled! I like how the camera has to zoom back in to show the mini double battle …

Why am I bringing a shedinja to finals Idk lmao I accidentally put an early birthday because I couldn’t remember the exact day (8/29 vs 8/31) Well, it’s nice that Pokémon still has a little birthday celebration sort of thing There are glailie chasing me. Dreepy was my latest and probably member I’ve used the least Like the definition of a benchwarmer Dragapult maybe will pull through for the finale Also late game snorunt means a frosslass but I’m not doing a last minute replacement . No thanks.

You don’t really think about how many pokemon that looked good in 2D look whack in 3D and how 3D onlies will never get 2D alternatives outside of dream world art That said I don’t think I was ever supposed to see and know gigalith had a mouth My Final outfit, a walking advertisement for ghosts

Marnie. I still haven’t bought any healing items Wanna do it like the X run? Eh, I’m good. I might just be tired of sword. Or tired in general. Since you change between elevator rides I assume that must be one slow moving elevator

Insert plot progression here The way I blanked out on rose tower because I was like “this shit sucked my first playthrough” and only went “huh, what” when I was already at Oleana I don’t think I’ve ever NOT paid attention that much to a mainline pokemon game No thoughts have entered my mind during the finals you know when you aren’t going to have any difficulty not because you’re locked in but because unless something stupid happens with a team you’re safe Sword finals so ahhhh boring I started cooking curry in the camp Ohhh if you cook curry on your birthday you get a little candle Cute

Imagine if I stirred the curry so hard i broke the circle button like how I almost did when I used to play smash 3ds You would never need to do that though Gust still hits even when bounce is active You learn something new every day

Insert plot progression here I don’t think I’ve ever felt a pokemon game that had its plot just give up at the end and say “idk” as much as SWSH did What is the point being selective with which cutscenes are actually skipped or not this is a 2nd playthrough I’ve seen all this already is it literally only the ones that aren’t running through the in game engine

Feeling nothing but “mmm. Yep. Sword.”

Oh I forgot about Aegislash AGAIN dragapult vs dragapult Can’t be champion without spamming full restores! Shedinja has taken the benchwarmer role Inteleon has the one move that could be troublesome What is Mr. Rime. Ice??? Oh yeah that’s ice Bye Can curse be stacked What a stupid question, do not do that. And thus the story ends as it began Curse stall

Oh no since my pokemon fainted because of the sandstorm no one celebrated with meeee :( I beat it on the fictional character’s wrong bday. Hooray. Okay, I’m gonna go get some lunch now, bye. Look at all that Sweet Exp...

Mono run: You really need to have self imposed limits or this game can become a cakewalk because I was too busy vibing in the wild area and basically made part of Lategame boring as hell until Piers tried to roundhouse kick my team and that was the only major danger

So what’s next Fairy or flying or normal Why not just keep going with all the types No. What about dragon Dragonite isn’t even until crown tundra Are you joking wasn’t that one of ash’s aces in journeys

I had some free time and I already did this for XY and most of spe these days is self contained so here I go! Can you believe their names really were just Soudo and Schilly in Japan and even Viz went “we’re not doing that” 43 chapters eh? They’re a lot shorter now though. If you do division, and note that volume 1 years ago was 14 chapters, then this would basically amount to like 3 volumes (Viz tends to release these as mini volumes though.)

Schilly is loud, you see. And Soudo likes crafting and weapons. There’s some guy named Marvin here idk These two are the professor’s assistant, which is why they get the pokedexes. Not Marvin though, he’s just here. Schilly is super smart actually she has a whole secret analysis room of data in her pick up truck

I don’t like the rotom appliances. It disturbs me on a level of knowing that these beings are basically given free rein over electronics in the pokemon world. But they’re not like netnavis, they speak an entirely different language with a lot of Zs in there. Plus how in DP there was only one rotom and now it’s just super common… whatever. Makes no sense for galar to be so selective with gym trainers and endorsements and things, it’s basically a case of you needing to either get lucky and impress someone high up the ladder or definite relationship nepotism status Nicknames in stories are usually just whatever comes to mind, eh? I just make up stuff because it’s nice to imagine pokemon with like personalities instead of just being one note pieces of pixels and models. Pokespe SWSH is… a roadtrip?

Marnie fan powers is taken to the extreme here. They dragged the Yell members into a raid?! Schilly’s pokemon went missing for a year now… aw man. I hope she gets em back. They call the darkest day the black night here in the translation since it’s a fan scan Oh, so Hop Marnie and Bede are kind of a separate group from Gloria and Victor like in Masters in spe. Doesn’t really make sense though, I don’t think Marnie and Bede ever interacted within the game proper… Hop and Schilly the same personality Who endorsed him in this world if it wasn’t Leon though You need to do research on gym trainers and their aces and stuff

There’s more of a peanut gallery here since I guess it’s a giant stadium of sports Pokemon with sports commentary… And there’s an announcer and stuff too. So since it’s Britain, it’d be football (soccer)

Volume 2

Nessa doing an ad and stuff Are gym leaders in Galar like not allowed to have side things because schedules Soudo doesn’t give AF he’s chill like that He’s soloing the gym The resturaunt scene is almost the same Schilly is sad because she’s only got one Pokemon to solo with This is like the first time it’s been a full team from the get go huh Bede is mad now because Rose doesn’t give a shit Schilly named her Pokemon after units and stuff Using the TV to go “have you seen these guys?!” Soudo really wants to hold the weapons because he’s a smith Is his title like the smither? They gotta get that fish out before it gets eaten It ate a pika too?! Smug pika

Raihan has fanservice shots for magazines???? Sword’s team theme is pokemon that hold things, I think, judging by his new member They’ve managed to figure out majority of the plot in the one cutscene spot Raihan is like “this has happened before in other regions with strong pokemon and people using them for nefarious exploits”—continuity we love to see it Don’t just be direct in asking though?! I love how professor magnolias trait is that she drives crazy

Vol 3

He’s hearing his dead dad?! Gear as in… pokegear. No. Schillys voice is so powerful I think it registers as a pokemon move They’re going way more in depth to the Bede thing where it’s like “was being given special treatment what caused him to act out? What future does rose want anyways that requires all the wishing stars?” Rose is clearly doing things for “love” of Galar but idk.

Is Allister just hanging out with them now as a mainstay Why can Schilly read Allister’s mind Ahh, she’s reading his body language Her pokemon pretended to not hear her so he could show off. Cute.

That alcremie is strong, because it feels strong. They’re really making neat side comments about how winning people also get libel and slander and stuff for the sake of the quiz

The power plant exploded and now Leon is here and Sonia and Raihan and they’re all gonna investigate together! Nope, just Raihan Spe paints a different relationship for Leon and Sonia where it seems Sonia wants nothing to do with him at all and they haven’t talked in years. Bede is also here. Bede wasn’t told the purpose of the mission at all, right?! Why did Rose do a teehee moment Bleh. An old man with moe? Jirachi mention for the 1000 year energy crisis ORAS mention of meteor in 10 days What happened to natural electricity for SWSH, do they not have generators It’s all particles?! Just explain it better dummy The wishing stars weren’t an experiment, it was an offering Did Schilly use her dynamax simulator machine for a prank? No. They’re in disguise checking out the tunnel What’s a rubbernecker Ohh, an idiot. That’s my buddy Eric

Volume 4

Pokémon can be fans of other Pokémon Like groupies.

The world of Pokémon only entertainment… Girl almost died from tap dancing Sword is a perfectionist for weapon making (Pokémon edition) You never really think about how many Pokémon just hold stuff until there’s a guy dedicated to fixing that kind of stuff Like is Timburr born with the wood pillar in hand or does it just find one that’s exactly square every time They handle version exclusive gym leaders by having them share the gym

So hop wasn’t endorsed in this world because he was insecure that if he lost it would make his brother look bad There’s a lot of pressure for these two kids, like Marnie is trying to save her town Leon and this friend said they were gonna be the strongest in the world together but the friend gave up and Leon started hiding his negative feelings That friends name? Sonia.

This is so weird that spe Hop hasn’t even said he’s related to Leon Entirely different guy here Bede on screen training arc!! His Pokémon think he’s a nice person. I really like how Spe actually has like characters interact in general, the Galar gym leaders all talking reminds me of like Gen 1 and 3 when the gym leaders would meet up and chat and stuff

It’s those two ugly men with their stupid ass hair from the postgame Why does Piers give Raihan a nickname like Rai rai Okay. The town is modest, not too flashy, and people who don’t like Galar’s way can go there but they get no money from tourists Rose does altruistic things like making childcare centers for trainers with kids, and also he protects people who have been slandered so he does good things instead of in game it being like “Rose is good trust us” XY mention with a guy trying to help only to try eradicating them instead The continuity in this one is making me go “wow, they know stuff!”

Piers also has a nickname for Sonia and she’s called Sunny What the heck, that’s too cute. Let’s go Punk Rock. Never would’ve expected this NPC designed kid would have an MP3 of this stuff. Even the kid is mentioning “well in this world evil people have been gym leaders or the elite four its only natural” like it’s normalized in Spe that it’s a world of inherent evil Galar doesn’t care about local legends whatsoever unlike other reigons, Hoenn mention Commoners and nobles and whatever Is SWSH Spe going to be about abolishing the monarchy God they look ridiculous even now Get off my screen

Sordwart and Shieldbert Get outta here They’re trying to set up themselves as false heroes and took away Schilly’s memory and Pokémon for that Booo Boo I say

Why did that ugly ass hair guy just say Celebrity though. Like a phrase. They used a Doublade to try killing her. Terrible! Okay so there’s lore to the fact that in Galar gym challengers are protected by privacy because of false rumors and accusations Sonia was the one accused of nepotism Let’s go! Finally! I’ve been wanting a plot point like that the whole time!

“If I kept winning maybe people would stop thinking I rigged the matches”, “but how long will all of this last until I reach the champion cup?” It’s kind of bizzare seeing all these continuity reference points like how the Kabu Hoenn thing was a throwaway line in the game from an NPC but here he’s actually talking about Hoenn and the legends and that’s what inspired Sonia to start being a researcher

She wasn’t enjoying herself but she did have fans Team yell?! The gang is teaming up! Everyone reacting to Bede with happiness for him being the gym leader but he says he hates it Ohhh…. Tsundere. It was a hologram

Volume 5



Basically these two rigged up this disaster to try and become heroes in their own right but like they did not have a backup plan whatsoever let’s see what happens He was a hologram type beat Oh no the plan failed Rose is locking in?!

Meanwhile: schilly’s Pokémon have gotten lost in a sewer Rose is genuine but he just doesn’t have like… good judgement. Or hindsight. The end justifies the means. Rose did remember Bede! He did the bleh thing again. What a stupid royal family, erasing history and making it impossible for people to properly know what happened

The sword and shield are poisoned and there is likely an effect There is in fact an effect It’s like all the plot points that were leftover from Sumo came here because that feels like a nihelego poison thing I feel like there’s gotta be an inverse effect for pokespe past gen 2 where it’s like if a game’s plot is actually executed well then the spe one feels lesser in comparison but when a game’s plot has nothing to work with then spe has to go with making it’s own spin and like XY and SWSH are actually way better than what I expected

Moon reference because shes friends with Kiara DLC episode is a go! Avery teleport!

Vol 6

Bede really does think of rose as his dad lol Schilly is so nice… she really is considerate of Soudo even though he got extreme tunnel vision The starters in this group really do coordinate themselves with the sticks… like a band. Him and this Kubfu… they’re alike because they’re both kinda awkward. Oh the narrator’s taking over, the effect of “we gotta finish up, go go go” is coming back in

Vol 7

Okay so its starting to feel a bit cramped, there’s a lot of moving pieces and characters again Damn that thing’s head is huge Carrot sidequest That's a weird looking horse

The two of them are similar because Schilly is loud and Soudo doesn’t get people but together they are friends And then Soudo got compared to Rose by Peonia and got super embarrassed The interpretation of “Rose doesn’t help the weak and needy out of kindness, he does because he sees them as lesser people” They really did just do a whole ass DLC sidequest to go beat up eternatus Smug Pikachu came back!

Is Eternatus even evil? It seems like it’s just doing it’s thing and it’s an alien so what’s natural for it might just hurt others They still gotta handle the problem though, can’t really let it roam free when there’s just big pokemon causing actual damage (it seems in Spe that dynamax pokemon are actually physically huge) Now there’s other nobles trying to stir up trouble too… sheesh. Royalty is causing nothing but trouble.

Sou is really out here in the frontlines getting hit because his dream is to see the weapons being used He has no sense of danger whatsoever This is the group of sillies.

Coexist… them and this alien thang Oleana really does just have full control over the monopoly state of galar I like how Leon was like “the professionals couldn’t stop it but these brave children found ways to protect the reigon and had no selfish goals” and then the kids immediately ruined it by going saying their selfish goals

The real heroes are the pokemon. No publicity. Oh wow the energy crisis wasn’t even 1000 years it was 10 years Damn

20 to 30 years pokemon Britain will be destroyed and that’s why Rose did what he did Only rose took full responsibility and made it so Bede looked like the victim It’s Bede’s self perception that led to him being the way that he was Rose wanted to make a galar free of people who were assholes That is just Lysandere again

The two main characters didn’t even go to the championship To them, the gym challenge was a sidequest Lmao

Verdict: I’m starting to suspect that Galar itself is inherently boring because of the gym challenge because even in Pokespe the most interesting aspect for me was seeing all the cross canon references and seeing the gym leaders interact in order to deal with the problem but it really was a 1 to 1 of the game plot execution wise but with DLC added in and two player main characters with a sidestory that wasn’t even aiming for the gym challenge, Schilly was using the publicity to find her missing Pokémon. There’s nothing really new here to work with though, and it feels like this one is extremely standalone minus the Moon mention because a lot of this stuff is normalized like the elite four mention and the fact that Marvin knew about the pokedex. Speaking of Marvin why was some random NPC design given that much importance to the point of getting the third starter. It’s kinda weird.

Wisteria Oh yeah, no WiFi because no Nintendo account for alt accounts Will that affect DLC?

Prepping up for flying mono run and my ghost mono run What about the SWSH postgame? Uhh. Maybe. I was considering doing the mono runs with the skip cutscene feature. I bet it doesn’t skip all the dialogue though. It doesn’t. What’s the point then?!

Cutscene skip doesn’t even skip the dialogue, only the handful of cinematic cutscenes. What a pointless feature. You can skip them with X but again… Picked Scorbunny for the starter. Sending it to pokejobs immediately. Role is to get to wild area ASAP and catch as many ghosts as possible (avoiding trade evos because I can get them later I think?) Watchtower ruins is where I need to go and I have to check out den 6 (the dens have names???)

Wasted all my money on clothes but forgot gloves Oh well, next time after i fleece trainers Annual means it’s yearly, so what happens in the downtime? I never got that answered. Maybe the minor league…? Hop acknowledges if you have no pokemon on your team at all aside from the 1st one Non raid NPCs suck

Watchtower ruins! It’s a duskull Can I like reroll spawns or something Hmm. And I got booted again.

Tf The slowpoke is immediately here?

Really don’t want a trade evolution when I know dusknoir and Gengar are special spawns but I’m gonna catch this one just in case RNG screws me over with the next raid (using a wishing star so I can have 2 teammates since this area is too high leveled RN) Ah yes The 49 HP sponge How would you find that while playing blind Dumb as hell The plan: do more raids get another wishing star and then get all non trade evos before moving on if possible I’ve got plenty of free time And now I gotta wait for NPCs to do the thing because I lost slowpoke… This is the gameplay loop I’ll have to do for every monotype run so this is just practice. I ended up in a raid with a businessman, woman, and schoolgirl so I just ended up on a galar family outing.

Crazy how you can pretty much almost build up an entire monotype team depending on your luck with raids Did not get lucky, it’s another ghastly. Okay, team of 3 for now, I’ll come back after gym 1…? I accidentally have two now. Box. Taking a second yamask so I can have a Unova one as well. I think I’ve exhausted the spawn pool for pre gym 1 so let me not come back for a bit

me and bede are matching because... i forgor Had to hunt this tumblr post down but anyways Wisteria’s birthday is June 27th so his uniform number is 627

Why Because. An alternate one for Ketsuban would’ve been 8/31 (the boy has many significant numbers associated with him now.) Wait, is the star on the card thing the thing that gets you raid numbers? huh? I can only get one star raids until I get 4 badges They have caps? You can't pick and choose?

stop raiding, go do the plot most of these tutorial bits have gloria, right? the boy might as well not exist. oh yeah, team yell's gonna be a bit of a problem all dark types

no hat wisteria kinda funny how the raids basically gave me the closest mons to the cap ah, normal zigzagoon... can i even hit hop's wooloo, all i've got is payback as a move how is it that i'm landing the critical hit, wouldn't that just be my pokemon

oh boy, i only have dark moves or ghost... curse! hp drain, go! need TMs this is taking forever by the way, you can just walk through the route don't even have to face the trainers

galar really was a game that had no trust in the average player to do any type of exploring and then when there are interesting things you can skip them like i only learned there were new spawns in the wild area during the darkest day after the fact because with the way the game sets it up plotwise why would you go back there

8/20

Yeah, the ghost monotype battle becomes slightly more difficult if curse can be healed by max overgrowth thankfully i have enough mons to outstall so now that I have badge 1 it's time to try checking out the dynamax pool again aw shoot, brutal swing hits all the parties? figuring out what's normal now is the real quiz i really need these ghosts to learn non ghost moves please bike obtained wait i don't even have to walk back i have a convient fast travel taxi now now that i've played the game i know the strats, game changer for real

The dragon guy probably has a thing to deal with fairies right Let’s head in and see what’s up Zero prep time let’s go! And there’s plot. God these trees are so ugly

I really had to come back just to hear hop talk about how cool his brother is What could that red light possibly mean Are raids not canon to SWSH

The game keeps going “so the kids are NOT getting involved in what is clearly the more interesting plot” it’s just Sonia’s big off screen adventure There is nothing else to this plot minus gym challenge, gym! Watch me be overleveled since I’m going into this with level 50s It’s not even disappointing me like X did, it’s just mid. It’s boring me, I can’t muster any emotions on it

GET OFF YOUR PHONE We got double battles in this game now Alright, it’s time to be the most annoying set up ever! Sand attack! Leech seed! Swords Dance! Turtonator’s sand trap is useless since I keep spamming sand attack with my French Leafeon Gen 7 was just full of little gimmick moves and abilities huh It’s really funny because you think it’s gonna be a marathon of battles but no they load up the cutscene and then you can heal in between What is your strategy “I hit fucking hard and I’m annoying because I use sand attack” You fool, using drizzle and snow warning only gave me perfect coverage for the lizard! 🦎

Ice beam, leaf blade, it’s time to lock in. The gigalith probably has sturdy. Whatever. Let’s fucking do this. Oh shit, he set up stealth rock Boy you are the last gym leader why don’t you have a full team of 6 I’m fighting a building.

I want to snap his rotom phone in half I didn’t even use the alcremie which is fairy type lol Girl take the lab coat off The red lights, the darkest day, the galar particles. But what does it all mean? It means that everyone in this reigon has an INT of like 5 collectively, and Sonia and Oleana are fighting for it most often. That’s cute They’re doing the thing where they’re both on the train in a cutscene again Why is steelix like the size of a worm It’s TINY as shit Malnourished

Can random ice types stop chasing me Abomasnow is huge and it’s tiny in battle I don’t have any ice coverage, better hope no one at the finals is carrying one or I’m toast Can this abomasnow stop hitting every single blizzard, I’m struggling with it more than I did with Raihan Looks like a dark type Actually steel Many such cases Looks like a water type Actually just fighting type Many such cases..

The last battle before Wyndon is the two interviewers from the grass gym route Welcome to capitalism city! Ads everywhere as far as the eye can see! This is not ever grande city. Marcel… isn’t that the Mr. Mime all the way from gen 1 you get in a trade? Oh wow, i have 400,000 poke on me Look at all these buildings you can’t enter! Alright, don’t care. Gimme clothes.

Look at all these clothes you’ll only wear like once since this is the final town until postgame or buying DLC! Who spread these places out like this. Geez. The pokemon have parking lots How in the world are you going to spend all this time building a huge ass city and then there’s still like 5 things to do in it Galar saying it’s world famous and yet there are no cameos of any past character whatsoever checking out the scenes

Wow, that girl who had the bug type thing who was a fan of me, it evolved! Cute.

Semifinals VS Marnie Go Marnie! It’s probably bad I used mostly just bewear to sweep her team, right? The crowd cheering really does add to this all I think I didn’t even buy revives or full restores, I just jumped straight to the semifinals. It’s so different from that time I played Leafgreen in 2022, right? I guess that’s the difference that QOL makes for a franchise. Okay, let’s see if I can’t turn this around with a dynamax of my own It feels like the game is pushing Hop the way that Alola wanted me to really like Lillie and so far my reaction is borderline apathy or a visceral reaction of “go away” and he’s done nothing wrong except be nice to me and talk about his brother who is literally the champion and want to be the champion because it’s literally the galarian way things are done and he wants to live up to the reputation of his brother and I’ve just stepped on him like an ant every time but he also feels like the most nepobaby rival since Calem in my eyes compounded by the fact he’s still like “I’m gonna be a legend! You’re looking at the future champion!” So it is truly mixed. I think he gets better in the postgame. Maybe. But I just want to let you know if he mentions super effective hits during semifinals Ketsuban is legally obligated to blow up the stadium

What the fuck is pinchurin Is that like Pyukumuku’s cousin Funniest lineup, imagine having your all star team and your major rival bloke brings out a pikachu and it hits static on your bird Snorlax (bear) vs bewear (bear) fight to death

HE SAID SUPEREFFECTIVE, KILL BUTTON IS ACTIVATING NOW DYNAMAX BLOW THIS PLACE TO SMITHEREENS

Nah, I’d win. Two hungry teenagers break into a national security level building because they don’t want to pay for food There is also this lanky man who invited his gang too This is just like Sliph Co with rocket and that one guy who has a key except here its an NPC in this huge ass city It’s this guy facing the damn wall Why are we fighting in the nondescript white void Did they not make a building model

Lee’s very important meeting… I really did just talk to every league NPC on the map until I found the guy and he was right there He has different pokemon everytime?

Why are you in the phone booth Bro thinks he’s dr who WHY is that thing clipping through the floor Don’t announce where you’re going, this guy is stupid

Piers is playing a song to get a crowd going (there are no vocals) This is like extreme children’s level of storytelling even by Pokémon level “he’s a bad league staff member” he’s trying to not get a pay deduction from his boss Why am I battling to like… elevator music. The elevator will stop and a trainer will come out Wow, just like an arcade game… It would be really funny if Eric came back again like “it’s meee!” They think they’re aether foundation

Marco Cosmos is literally a monopoly

What the heck is with this music, this isn’t what you’d expect out of a battle like this at all

How does the building immediately not collapse when there are two giant pokemon fighting on top of it Oh yeah, they’re hard light energy projections Why do they explode though Idk Oh, lmao, i blew up but then sandstorm chip damage beat garbordor

This is literally just a lady trying to do her job and these kids decided to just mess around because protagonist centered morality and storylines mean this has to happen

Cannot get over how everyone had broken in and it’s treated as a good thing because in any other setting this would be grounds for breaking and entering and public disruption They couldn’t just delay the tournament a single day because of a problem a thousand years in the future, do you know how dissapointed the fans would be We are going to break into this building because we are hungry

So there’s a subplot of oleana literally having her own “evil” league staff members and it’s never going to be brought up again so. Okay. There’s clear corruption going on, not a single person is going to deal with that at all?

I gave a child a handshake. Oh shit there’s gym leader rematches too? It’s Bede! I’m happy, he figured out his spot in life. I want to imagine that he went on some kind of large stupid off screen adventure in order to distance himself from rose and oleana basically using him as an incredibly ineffective puppet for the wishing star thing. Like he gained light back to his eyes.

Wait a minute Decorate makes the enemies attack go up? Not down? Shit. Im down a Mon! Look, I already know you’re gonna dynamax so I’m gonna too. Hatterene is just a little white alien with a big hat. Bizzare. He’s so ineffectual, he’s charming in his loser cringe fail ways. All bark no bite unless its to hop. Yooo, they remix the gym leader themes, awesome These finals battles are somewhat difficult and I need to think about what I’m doing?! Cool! WHY can I camp in a building What Bea does not have any fairy type coverage for some reason Girlie, its a basic weakness for fighting types I can hear my switch fan fighting for its life, now there’s the real challenge

You know, fire type feels like it should be a super effective thing to fairies Because fairies live in forests in usual depictions In honor of Piers, I won’t dynamax against raihan! Is it another double battle? I guess it would be weird to do a switch up like that last minute, right? It’s singles Raihan is too busy weather switching and I’m out here just ice beaming his team I have a fairy type, she literally had zero usage in either raihan battle and if that’s not an indicator of the difficulty level idk what is Do you think Raihan is eternally mad over the fact that he won’t ever beat Leon and he never gets the chance to again because Leon loses once and then immediately retires after the game is beat I thought that was gonna be a super scary attack but he just took away some of my move PP. oh well Can’t be a gym battle without knowing how to use a few full restores Geez, this is taking so long that I outstalled the dynamax.

There is always someone younger than you who is better than you is the lesson the game is giving It’s not like the elite four at all, you can still just leave lmao I heard if you get rid of all your pokeballs before eternatus the game still gives you one to use but I’mma just use a pokeball Boxed. I try not to use legendaries for my halls of fame anymore. Sucks to replace a long standing team member at the last minute. Heyyy guys its time i brought about the apocalypse A thousand year problem but what if I solved it! Me! For the history books! Galar’s low INT is kicking in again Man who is too future oriented decides to summon mega death satan to solve the energy crisis Imagine if this was Megaman zero… nah, that’s stupid.

This is probably like the ruby sapphire emerald thing where the game says it’s super serious but then you go to a town two routes over and not a damn thing has changed How hard can it be to program NPCs to say other things during the endgame Megaman battle network did it You know what would’ve been neat? When you revisit the Weald the pokemon levels change so im not just running into level 2 pokemon Oh shit they do The dog howling music is back

Two kids go graverobbing The game’s real covinient with fast travel All the NPCs have evacuated (I still see NPCs in their houses…) No, only the NPCs of the one plot important town. Dummy.

Galar being built on top of like an evil ass skeleton dragon monster for energy would be awesome in any other setting but then there’s two magic dogs that destroyed it so idgaf They already did that with alola anyways and Necrozma Chairman Rose does not deserve this cool ass theme, because he’s just some guy Apparently the anime tries to give him a bit of backstory by saying someone close to him died in a mining accident and he wants to reduce the energy problem because of that, and in Pokespe the deadline of the energy crisis is 100 years rather than a thousand years, but it’s still kind of immensely stupid. You couldn’t just have an executive plan to solve things gradually rather than trying to go about the problem single handedly and escalating to this? Like is it an ego thing or a paranoia thing? Why he stanced up though He’s not even evil, he’s just stupid. This entire plan is stupid. Dude, at least use an ultra ball or something, a regular ass pokeball? Holy shit, my character actually showed emotions like: fear Creepy ass alien music happening

Damn, that was easy, one ice beam and one psychic, that things a chump Oh shit, the HAND Oh we can’t use any moves at all What the fuck, where was this absurd presentation the entire game, they’ve got like memory flashbacks and the dogs launched into action to save the world like it’s an anime season finale THE HOWL IS BACK THE GREATEST Oh he looked so sad to lose his sword

Hop is out here doing barely even chip damage, once again I am carrying this group project Yooo, my pokemon toughed it out so I wouldn’t be sad, that’s my GOAT (greatest of all time) Orange girl, meddling kids, magic dog, mystery solving… This is just a Scooby doo plot And he would’ve gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling kids and their magic dog! The audacity of the player character to catch Eternatus in a pokeball and then proceed to bring it to kick Leon’s ass because you can do that. Leon will comment on if you bring it. Where was that production value for literally the rest of the game, they locked in for just that. SpongeBob time card: 3 days later.

Rose has been arrested. Leon still wants the final match, so literally nothing changed whatsoever, that was just a minor plot bump all things considered. Leon’s shirt is 1 because he is number 1 NOT FOR LONG Do you remember the early SWSH leaks that made up a fake plot that was like “Leon’s matches are faked and staged” I’m glad they didn’t make a POC character a fraud I do wish his character had any kind of notable personality traits though aside from getting lost because some SWSH characters feel like talking to a plank of wood and he feels like the embodiment of just being a famous competent celebrity battler with good PR but maybe the postgame will explore what his life is like now that he’s not champion and maybe he gets some hobbies or something Ewww, this theme isn’t intimidating at all, it’s just the hall of fame theme again He does the same face slapping thing his little bro does

Oh god, I do not have anything for Aegislash coverage Yeahhh! Paralysis! I love you! I love status effects! So is it a thing for both brothers to love talking about super effective hits I feel like I’m being patronized, this game feels like it would give me a participation trophy.

Oh shit this guy has type coverage for real ROCKY HELMET What is a dragapult, is that the cannon shooting baby thing It is! Does he not carry full restores I don’t have grass coverage Why is he only using endavour???

Dude this AI is borked. It is fire flying still. Oh… my pokemon toughed it out It’s like David and Goliath over here The charizard has type coverage for everything but electric types Huh?! Yeah let me just heal up pikachu and then work from there Or I could stall. I could stall. It’s getting speedier…

Pikachu, clip this things wings. Thank you Spark. And it was a Crit. That’s my boy. Get off me. Where’s my hall of fame I don’t even get a photo? The credits is a pre-rendered cutscene of a pokemon band. IT’S THE TITLE SCREEN?! They Mike Wawowskied my Lizard.

The first impressions clear verdict: (Base game only) this game is weird. Like I do not know how to describe my feelings because unlike X’s vision and scope being basically done better by every game after it , Sword in my mind has areas that make me go “how is the pop in worse”, “this shit looks like the PS1 (the goddamn trees)” and “there is a much more interesting plot happening offscreen”. The fact that there’s nothing to do in the reigon outside of gym challenge centric stuff really makes me go like “but why though” because Alola had much more going on in terms of side content and that was the generation before it. Pokémon games need some kind of side game distraction thing because otherwise the game is just gym wild area gym wild area gym…. Contests really should’ve been mainstay. (This is where the DLC factors in to make up side content but like it doesn’t fix base galar’s set of problems.) It’s more railroady than Alola but there’s less to do especially if you don’t visit the wild area because at one point I was so good for levels that I just didn’t need the wild area or raids whatsoever. I’m pretty sure not counting like LGPE or a spinoff game this is the shortest mainline game ever. Music department is good (Pokémon hasn’t ever had a soundtrack that would be considered bad) but sound department is bizarre (raid cries, Piers Mike, random flapping noises with some flying types), presentation of battles is wildly all over the place (backgrounds and “energy” animations that feel less cinematic than the predecessor ), lack of new good QOL (skip cutscenes does not skip text walls, you can’t skip Dynamax animations even though their windup takes forever), plot is also barebones and its a weird turn around because for the most part in Pokémon games really do let kids go about into the unprotected wilderness and fight teams and dangerous situations but in this game it’s like “we do NOT want you doing that.” Also weirdly patronizing in some areas, like with how Leon’s final fight still talks about super effective hits.

I don’t remember what I was doing last time Oh this outfit sucks Maybe today will be the day I get to evolve milcery Hate it here, just give me the star decoration!!

Alcremie is a punishment for people who want to do dex completion and don’t have the DLC because its a drop rate chance for only 3 areas and one is in the late game The drop rate is random and it’s not like the pool is just toppings, it’s an RNG nightmare This doesnt even get into the fact that the spin is ALSO time based and if you screw up the spin then you have to redo the entire thing Give me the star sweet Okay so it turns out that the sweet was NOT in fact a battle cafe drop Okay, that makes me feel slightly better It’s a raid drop Maaaan Whatever, a clover sweet is fine too. Drop that. I think the cafes might be hard locked depending on the autosave. I kept resetting and I kept getting a love sweet. Okay. Now it’s time to properly explore route 8.

Route 8 is a bunch of ladders. Seriously, why can my character stop time on ladders? It’s funny but it’s also like… why. I wonder what a Galar only team would be like for me… it would probably have falinks. I feel like the Pokémon most neglected are middle stage trade evolutions. No one is using them unless it’s a nuzlocke. Like they feel like a punishment to the player for not having anyone to trade with. It was a lot better when we had reliable back and forth physical with stuff like DS and Gameboy but the GTS kind of killed friend to friend trading (not that I had any friends who played Pokémon to begin with minus that one after school group that hated my ass—the same ones I gave up my emerald and Leafgreen cartridges to for a zorua. I basically got double scammed.)

Route 8 is TINY, how did I not explore this the first time. The business man’s eyes look like they’d be more on a Pokémon than a person from this game. Weather teams are so annoying, Raihan’s battle is gonna suck. It’s really funny being a trainer and it must suck when your opponent is doing stall and healing spam and things that would be fine gameplay wise but just suck to watch in an actual tournament You can move the control stick camera during camping Why was this told to me halfway through the game. They’ve got a hotel but the sections are blocked off.

Oh. It’s gamefreak! You know, it’s pretty weird that they always exist as NPCs in the game speaking of things beyond the constraints of the game world. The detective event in this hotel only reinforces my point that everyone in Galar has a collective brain cell count of 3 It’s got juice around its mouth and berry bits The top detective is either stupid or humoring a child Who is this aggressively blonde British man in my game Blud looks like an asset you’d find at a truck stop restaurant There’s zero backtracking aside from the wild area since most other spots are blocked off What’s wrong with just letting me go to the town, be told “not yet” and then I go back to the actual story part This on rails thing bugs me. Hop could really do with emoting that isn’t just a copy pasted smile. Like a frown.

Oh, that guys name is Gordie, not Gornie… I kinda miss gym plaques letting you see the other characters who beat the gym or not progress wise I think last time they were seen was gen 4

Oh: this is the item finder. Okay, so uh. They let you see where the holes are. Doesn’t that kinda defeat the purpose of the puzzle then? Don’t forget sturdy rock type ability Not OSHA compliant Way worse Give me some go goggles. Where are these disembodied voices coming from that are encouraging me What was thst

Why we both got sunglasses What the hecl is barbacle What is a stonjourner What was that That’s what the coal thing evolved into Auuugh, he gigantamax Ed and I just shit him with one shot They’re really just in public talking about this at bob’s your uncle The gang is back together… Sorry, you brought back dubwool, but you put growl on it? That’s it? Dude.

STOOOP ENOUGH ABOUT SUPER EFFECTIVE HITS I GET IT Pokémon camping rules because I’m too lazy to go back to a town and I get to eat curry and it’s tasty I gotta feel bad for raichu though, it’s the neglected older child of Pokémon My bike can go on water now. Can I camp on water? No. Obviously not. Why are there glaciers in Britain (Has no geographical skills whatsoever) Sometimes Pokémon will jump at you in the water The baby ones. There’s no surf theme tf Even the water has pop in Maybe overworld encounters weren’t a great idea. Could I have just used route 7 to get here the whole time Can you imagine what a cyberpunk Pokémon would look like? Lol.

At the rate this is going I might actually bring Milcery to the finals with no evolution whatsoever I read the league card for Piers. There’s something to be said about how this story about Spikemuth being a poor town because no one visits often because they don’t have Dynamax and Marnie and Team Yell are working to try and save the town with Marnie being the challenger and Yell all being volunteers to cheer Marnie would’ve been way more compelling if A. We had seen Marnie more than like 3 times or B. It was mentioned beforehand and C. Yell didn’t make up so many roadblocks in the game and blatantly say they would sabotage gym challengers. It kind of comes off as Po Town but there’s no Nanu. It feels like Marnie would’ve been disqualified if anyone higher up complained. Oh yeah, Piers is her brother, I guess he covered for her… and she didn’t know they were the gym trainers either, which again convinces me that galar’s collective brain cell is being hogged by Sonia because she’s actually questioning the plot. Pikachu procs Static so often it’s nasty. Crazy how much work eviolite puts in. This feels like an arcade game with the grunts jumping out of windows and the neon go signs It’s like “we now interrupt your Pokémon game for streets of rage” They’re doing flips and shit “We now interrupt your Pokémon game for the teenage mutant ninja turtles arcade game” I don’t think any session has made me say “what the fuck” more than this segment ever has.

Piers looks like the Dalmatians lady’s furcoat if it came to life or something. So is my switch bugging or does the Piers cutscene have no noise whatsoever. I’m watching a crowd boo what I believe to be interpretive music. All I hear is his feet tapping. Impressive. Joke’s on you Piers, I’ve been taking down Dynamax Pokémon without using my own Dynamax button for some of the fights. I asked friends and uh, no, it’s like that for them too. But why though. Leon’s dealing with a way more interesting plot about wild Dynamax Pokémon and he’s just like “go beat the gyms” no, bro. Let me go do that shit!

The wild area’s got water, right? Let me go check that out… actually, I just wanna go for curry. Yeah, I kinda forgot this place existed for a bit. Okay so I went ahead with evolving Milcery before the wild area. Then I went “Wait hold up” I spun at 12 am but the game gave me a pink one because I did it in motostoke Are you telling me that the methodology is based on in game location time and not the switch time you know what, never mind. Not gonna question this anymore. Whatever.

Since the Gameplay Log got too big, pokemon Sword got it's own Journal. I'm gonna put in screenshots and stuff so this isn't just a huge wall of text like XY was. Maybe I will also find 3DS photos for XY since I still have them saved onto my stuff. Okay so I gave it a page like XY, this is the ONLY time I’m doing this okay, I am not doing this for any other game unless I just start making gameplay logs for every generation and fangames and I do NOT want to do that. Pretty weird how there’s no save game progress screen, it just dumps you straight into the game
I wasn’t a part of the dex discussion on social media, I was a person who saw all that happening and thought “idk, sounds kinda dumb and they’re probably gonna do something dumber” and I was right. The DLC when the game costed $60 would’ve costed you like nearly $100 accounting for tax. You know how much food $60-$70 USD can get you versus one game…? And you might not even replay the game that often to justify the price? It’s way worse being in the wild area without other players though because it’s so big. And empty. And the textures are whack. When did Pokémon switch to its own made up language? Other games just have it be English. I need to get pikachu an eviolite or maybe a light ball if possible The battle cafe is still giving me trouble even after the training session. You kinda get an absurd amount of exp for doing poke jobs and forgetting to check in. Wow. That level 1 genned Charmander is 28 now. The power of labor.
There’s only 3 cafes, I’ve already checked out the two in motostoke and wyndon, I really want my alcremie to have stars, but it’s a random drop. Here’s the thing though. It is purchasable in the DLC. It feels almost like a punishment, right? There’s a way to make things a lot more convinient than relying on base game RNG! Ohhhh, I hate DLC… I’m from the time where most of the DLC was just costumes or extra stuff was a 3rd version game so something about needing the game and then needing to fork over more money feels bizzare. Even though it costs less, right? Third version games costed the same price as the base. But you could just… wait for the third game.
Whatever, let me go do the plot. I should not be laughing whenever Bede is like “yeah I got this” and then Rose immediately beelines to the player Wishing stars are bizzare. Why are random rocks being thrown all over the world and how do they align with the energy crisis Okay. So basically, this entire reigon runs on battling as an energy source. That seems really stupid, because the league is seasonal. What happens in the down period. Electricity, natural gas, water…

https://sakurabomb.tumblr.com/post/741542516959150080

It turns out, that in fact, you can make a new save just by using the profile feature. So for anyone who’s ever wanted a multiple save file pokemon game, switch profiles are your way to go. Bede is COOKING Hop right now he pointed out he has NOTHING to say about himself it’s just me or his brother The British boys are fighting!! GET HIS ASS BEDE
Hey, you think it’s weird that Charmander is valid in the Galar pokedex but none of the other kanto starters I probably shouldn’t be using a clearly obviously generated pokemon, but Charmander is cute, and this gen introduced a way to rename pokemon. But it doesn’t work if it’s already been named… what the heck. Damn you, Pokegens.com… It’s kind of weird seeing some pokemon you associate with one type of environment just vibing in the wild area It makes me feel like I just have safari zone permanently on Maractus should be in the desert, not just hanging in the grass Pokemon being almost to scale makes you realize “damn, some of them are really tiny!” Like Rimbombee.
If you asked me to get the names of leaders from SWSH I’d probably say “uhh, Raihan, Melody, Gornie, Allister… Onion, Bea. Nessa, Kabu, Milo, Piers, …Pearl? .” I don’t recall the rest. Is that all of them?

I played this at the dentists office while waiting for my parent to finish up. Don’t you think it’s weird that dentists and doctors have to go to dentists and doctors?

The wild area being the only area where the camera can be free moving is a choice.

Set me in an open world and my objectives will be ignored so I can min max grind and do dumb shit just because I can which is how I ended up in the wild area being attacked by a level 45 Briviary which is how I was in GI skipping from Liyue all the way to Fontaine despite only being in the Liyue MSQ because there wasn't any kind of roadblock telling me that I couldn't go that far despite the fact it made zero sense story wise. There's a plot, I guess I'll do it. I think a problem with dialogue in these games is that when you give the player more options than yes/no but NPCs don’t react and when you have fancy rendered cutscenes where the player moves without a persons input but then stands around in non rendered cutscenes it looks stupid.

I’m not expecting GF to have branching dialogue options like Persona or Fallout or alternate story pathways because there’s no point in that when they say for the next game only one of those paths was canon or the paths both lead back to the same thing. Don’t even get me started on voice acting, do you know how many different languages Pokémon games are even in? The only Pokémon game you’ll ever hear voice acting in is Masters. Pokemon isn’t really a game franchise anymore to begin with. Even if the console games didn’t sell well, there’s always the bucketloads of merchandise that they have like TCG and plushies and collabs and mobile games. See why I call it existential capitalist dread sometimes?

Why is the sound direction in the game like this where every time a Pokémon gets big their voice is stupid compressed or is it just my headphones, like, try imagining that happening every time they try to load in a voiced cutscene.

I learned that the milcery evolution item is a random drop so I backtracked to the cafe instead of going further I like not having to deal with constant wild battles and I have to run into mons That being said— I got distracted so now I’ll never know what I was writing.

Is that a rock on wheels

I hope the clothes aren’t a daily rotating thing like XY did. I can’t play every day. Oh, the glowing ones give out watts. Camping is good because I can play fetch The Pokémon cosplay has never been more blatant with poke kids It really is weird now thinking about Eevee getting pushed to this extreme mascot status Gen 1 really has a lot of those huh

Having the map be preloaded means I spot hop before he spots me Oh boy, so unless I go back to wedgehurst station I will get that message every time huh. Galar people might just be stupid actually How was that geoglyph made? Pokémon? Yes. The game feels like it has zero trust in me being able to go places . Wow… pikmin

The wooloo have like no collision whatsoever and it’s kinda distracting What do people do if they’re allergic to pokemon in things like this, do they just have to suck it up? I just have that strong of an aura The bug gets one chance during the gym match and if it’s not worth it irs right back to the box There’s a league HQ and you do gym missions now

You know, knowing the gym leader guide guy was a ashita no Joe/Tomorrow’s Joe reference the entire time does really remind you that Pokémon is basically boxing (you might recognize that one frame which has been referenced of a person slunk over in a chair with the dramatic lighting hanging over them, that originated from this show.) His name is Dan as in Danpei They finally brought it back

Where is this guys nose Milo has such a baby face. We’re at the British club now

It seems that the strategy is not to have a giant battle but to survive I might be in danger if it’s permanent Nope Lmao I like how milo outright said “go sequence break and catch a high level Pokémon” After the dentist i took a nap and i got roasted twice by my family for napping. No one understands the value of a good nap.

Anyways I thought about Leon and how the game NPCs are really kind of like “wow hop is crazy good because he was endorsed by Leon” no one has even mentioned that he’s his brother. I have this weird kind of thing where I haven’t paid attention to social media for pokemon stuff outside of Japanese artists who mostly post about food or music of the day or FF14 twitter discourse so when i saw people powerscaling the trainers on my timeline I’m kinda like… eh? Because powerscaling is one of those things where I go “this is basically elementary playground fighting where the answer boils down to nuh uh, my character is stronger because… um… yes.” So I’m here hearing about people trying to figure out if Leon or Red is better just because Leon is said to be the strongest and so is Red. But no one would think that if the game didn’t insistently say that Leon’s the strongest, right? I feel like this phenomena is called artificial hype, and the same thing happened to Cynthia, because my impression of Cynthia is just like, she showed up like maybe once in DP looking at some ruins, maybe spear pillar or that was a platinum thing, and now everyone ever goes “that piano scared you like crazy when you were a kid, right?! Undella Town Trauma!” No, I’m pretty sure I had Dialga on my first diamond hall of fame and I locked in when I ran into her in Black. People will try and say that Red also has this kind of hype but he’s the first playable guy ever for pokemon, do you know how much of a gap of time that is? Do you know how long he has had in the cultural longevity of Pokémon? If he was introduced now, it would be pretty stupid, but he has history. You can’t really go into a long established story and say “hey, check out this guy, he’s the actual strongest now… because we said so!” I think this might be a problem based on something I’m not thinking about, like I think the anime said that Leon said he was the strongest in the world? It feels like insecurity on the writers end on how popular he would be so they prop him up instead of letting the audience decide. Whatever.

Okay, I’m doing more thinking because Milo told me to go to the wild area and how does that make sense on an ecological level at all?! How is this place sustained? (Pokemon is a world of technomagic, don’t think too hard about It, they don’t even know where eggs come from.) Okay. Yayyy.

I wonder if you can have multiple save files in SWSH with new user profiles since i can do that with ACNH. After this session I’ll check. They give you the bike this early?

That fox has a little mustache looking like sniper no swiping over here lmaoooo Did they get a new art director after gen 7, this is absurd. Trainers distinctly look more uh..Pixar like, I would say. My characters eyes still looks like they’d be drawn by Sugimori but I haven’t really seen that face style on many other characters. There’s clearly an effort to make the human characters more distinct looks wise, which is a nice thing, but we’re also 7 gens in so now the new gens would stick out more with this new direction. Like that Iono girl, if you put her next to a person from gen 3 pre ORAS she might look like a collab character. (Doesn’t masters do this anyways with having everyone be together…?) Every time i see sableye i get worried it has wonder guard hacked on for no reason… it’s just a minor thing of mine.

Rotom love motors, but my bike is a pokemon now… They do this with Scarlet and Violet too, why am I complaining. Why do I have to wear this outfit though… (they did that in alola with ride outfits too…) what’s wrong with my custom clothes. I can change the colors, but they all look whack. Meh. And they dont even show up when im in battle.

Hop is funny, he’s really like “we’re gonna fight if we come any closer” so I left. It must really suck in universe to just be ignored every time though. I like how pokemon act like cats and beat the shit out of feather toys. The pokemon eating is funny too, like, what are they holding, they are just staring into the distance. Now that I’m thinking about it, you should be able to have phone calls since you have a rotom phone. Pokejobs are weird, they do not get paid for labor. I’m lazy and I don’t wanna backtrack for a slowpoke I can’t even evolve with the DLC. Nope. I’ll wait for a taxi.

Session #1 They have auto save now. Undefeatable champion leonnnnn with his charizard! He's the master or whatever. Does he have stealth rock and stone edge coverage though? Why are these people all in awe in the intro, this is something they see all the time, don't they have dynamax every time in these sports stadiums.

I have a dad in this game? So it turns out you can skip cutscenes in this game with the skip movie option…? Minor things: the pokemon freeze whenever signs are read There is STILL pop in, i noticed this in lumiose but now its almost built in. Having a screenshot feature is nice versus me having to always take a photo with my phone or tablet

Huh. So this is what it’s like to have a famous person in universe actually be famous. I hate it. Oh, they do call em first partner here (BUT I SURE AS HELL WON’T).